Shadow over Hogwarts
by Diresquirrel
Summary: Ten years ago they won the battle: Voldemort was dead. They didn't realize that at the same time they had lost the war. Now, a shadow lurks over the Wizarding World that threatens to change everything. AU Harry Potter.
1. Chapter 1

The Origin of the Idea

* * *

"Why don't you try writing in the style of someone else?" SpaceMary suggested.

"I suppose," the Squirrel shrugged. "I have been in kind of a crack rut lately."

"Pretty much everything's been crack fics lately," agreed SpaceMary.

"Who do you suggest?" asked the Squirrel.

"How about someone very different from you?"

"Like Hemingway or Longfellow? Jane Austin or Pick-a-Bronte?" the Squirrel continued, throwing out other authors with rather different forms of insanity than this author.

"How about Frank Miller?"

The Squirrel paused and looked at SpaceMary with trepidation and something akin to the consideration of locking Mary in Arkham for her own good.

"I don't like most of Frank Miller's work," stated the Squirrel. "He's a misogynist!"

"But you admit he's a talented writer with a style very different from your own," pointed out SpaceMary.

"Yes...but..."

"So, write Harry Potter as if written by Frank Miller," SpaceMary decided.

"...Okay...?"

* * *

Okay, for the record, I don't the greater portion of Frank Miller's work. I think he's a misogynist, a borderline psycho and he believes in his own work far too much. He has the annoying habit to turn any female character into a prostitute. Now, when I started this, I told myself and SpaceMary that I would try to do this. I wasn't going to go the same route and I think I did capture some of the feel of Frank Miller's early Batman work before he went flying off the deep-end.

I'm well aware that some people really love his work, and they're allowed their opinions.

Now, I'm going to say right now, that this is very different from anything else I've posted. Some people who expect my usual fare might not like this one. Others might like it a lot. There are more than a few things going on in this fic that I don't like and don't tolerate, but am putting in the fic because it works, not because it's a nice thing to do or have happen.

I'll also say, this fic is already written, I'm just posting it, so there won't be the same kind of wait on it than for my other works. I'm breaking it up because a 50+ page one shot just wasn't going to cut it.

But for those of you expecting me to pattern this after the Adam West Batman, well...I've added in a few omake joke scenes as well.

Oh, and thanks GreyWizard, Janessa Ravenwood and JediKnight for their help with this.

* * *

Walden Macnair was minding his own business as he strutted down the cobblestones of Knockturn Alley. He hadn't a care in the world and was actually quite gleeful. It was always nice when one was allowed to "take care" of a so-called light creature. The fact that the griffon was merely protecting its nest mattered little for the "former" Death Eater. All that mattered to him was his new bonus of gold in his purse and a few hours at the local brothel.

He began singing "Pappy let his Witch's Knickers Down" as a nasty jerk on his robes, just above his shoulder blades. Before he was even able to draw his wand, Walden found himself wrenched into the air, with the force of the jolt felt heavily on his neck. He landed in a lump on the rooftop of Borgin and Burkes. As he struggled to right himself, he heard the ominous sound of a thin piece of wood snapping under his knee. He glanced down and realized to his horror that, yes, he had just snapped his own wand. Then he woke again to realize that he wasn't alone.

Glancing up he saw the figure appear. It wasn't like apparation or the arrival of a portkey, but rather as if it seemed to melt from the darkness as the slight breeze blew the patchy London Fog from between them and the moon. Standing, or perhaps perched, before Walden was a figure: black as pitch and seeming to have no form save for a head and shoulders with two long jutting horns from its head that seemed to pierce the moon that silhouetted it from behind. Its eyes snapped open and glowed with an eerie white light.

**"I want you to tell your friends about me,"**the figure spoke. It was more of a half growl, scratchy and deep; in truth, it was not unlike the sound you heard from an angry Fenrir Greyback.

Walden wanted to protest against this treatment, that he was an upstanding member of the Ministry, but something caught his voice.

**"Your old friends need to know something," **the figure growled out. Two unearthly shaped hands reached out from the shadows of the cloak and hefted Walden up by the robes. **"They need to know I'm not their enemy."**

"Got a funny way of showing it," Walden managed to snark even as he focused on controlling his bowels. The hands holding him gave the wizard a snappish shake.

**"I'm not their enemy,"**the figure said, pulling Macnair up close so his pale glowing eyes were only inches from Walden's own. **"I'm their **_**nightmare**_**."**

"What _are_ you?"

Though he couldn't see it, Walden seemed to think that the figure smiled. A dark, cold smile that was completely devoid of humor.

_**"I'm Batman."**_


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning broke to see Walden Macnair strung up to a lamppost, naked, his Dark Mark bare for all the world to see. Stapled to his chest was a list: Murderer, terrorist, rapist, accessory to murder, conspiracy to commit murder... the list when on and on, listing as many as the page was long.

When later cut down and awoken, Walden didn't say much.

"The Bat," he pleaded. "The Bat is coming!"

"Who did this to you?" an auror sympathetic to the cause asked. Walden grabbed him by the robes and pulled the man close so he could whisper in his ear.

_"The Batman,"_ Walden hissed frantically as if he expected another attack at any moment. His eyes constantly fluttered around as if looking for the expected attack. "The Batman did this."

Lucius watched on in disgust. His friend had fallen so far. He glanced at the auror. "What have you got?"

"Nothing," the auror admitted. "His mind, his memories...he was obliviated. All that's left are his memories of his crimes and a symbol. He doesn't even remember how to keep himself clean."

"Symbol?"

"It's gold on black. Two horns stick up in the middle and it's a stylized version of a bat," the Auror said. "My Legilimency couldn't get any more than that..."

"What is it?"

"There's a partial memory," the Auror explained. "Horns on the moon and empty eyes. He's afraid, and there's no curse or hex behind that fear. It's genuine."

"Pathetic."

"Lucius," the auror cautioned. "Watch out. The attacker chose him for a reason. He wanted him to live. He's a message, not the messenger."

Lucius Malfoy spun on his heels and marched out of the ward with a sneer, his wand gripped tightly in his fist.

* * *

**Daily Prophet**

**Attack Against Ministry Official**

Walden Macnair was attacked last night on a street off Diagon Alley and brutalized completely. The pureblood wizard is a well respected professional in his field and was headed out for some relaxation after a long day at work, when he was attacked sometime during the night. Aurors believe that it took place approximately 8-9 pm, judging by his memories.

This poor wizard was beaten within an inch of his life and to make matters worse, he was put on display by being chained and permanently stuck to a lamppost in Diagon Alley early this morning. He was found by 89 year old Meredith John Falsholm of Hogsmeade, who arrived early for work. Early statements by St. Mungo's sources report that poor Mr. Macnair was partially obliviated.

Our thoughts go out to the man and his family.

For more on the ancestry and career of Walden Macnair, see page three.

**Harry Potter to Return to Britain**

_by Rita Skeeter_

After ten years, Harry Potter is set to return to Magical Britain. Most people will know him as the only survivor in the battle with You-Know-Who against the boy's parents: James Potter and his wife. This battle, which cost the Potters their lives also brought down the reign of terror of the Dark Lord. So pained was the boy at his loss, he couldn't bear to be in the same area as the one where he watched his parents killed at the tender age of six.

As most of you know, James Potter was one of four friends from his time in Hogwarts: Peter Pettigrew, posthumous bearer of the Order of Merlin First Class, who died in a battle against You-Know-Who's forces just out of Hogwarts; Remus Lupin, a well known scholar on Dark Creatures; and the criminal Sirius Black, imprisoned for attacking Lucius Malfoy, who was still recovering from the Imperius curse. As most know, Mr. Malfoy was one of the poor souls who were forced to perform terrible acts under the magical control of You-Know-Who. Sirius Black, who was proven as dark as his cousin Bellatrix, attacked Mr. Malfoy three days after his trial that cleared his name. He has been in Azkaban ever since.

On Halloween, ten years ago, the Potters were enjoying an afternoon out with their son when You-Know-Who attacked Diagon Alley. James Potter, an honored auror and former Head Boy at Hogwarts, protected his son at the cost of his own life, struck down by a Killing Curse from the wand of a poor citizen under the Imperius. You-Know-Who hit Harry Potter's mother with the Cruciatus curse repeatedly as young Harry looked on. While not completely verified, it is said that young Harry was forced to watch by none other than Bellatrix LeStrange, who was later imprisoned for her actions after the war. Eventually, Harry's mother was able to get a curse in as the Aurors attacked in force, and somehow was able to lay You-Know-Who low. Out of the 26 people in the street when the fight began, only Harry Potter was left alive.

After a few troubled months, family friend Remus Lupin chose to take young Harry away to heal from the traumatic experience. They settled in America, where young Harry was tutored by none other than the esteemed Gilderoy Lockhart while Remus Lupin continued his investigations into Dark Creatures.

And now, after ten years in Exile, Harry Potter intends to return for the ten year anniversary of his Father's death. While many consider that night to be a day of celebration, I am sure it is a night of somber remembrance for the young Potter Heir. The Ministry has arranged for a memorial to honor James Potter's selfless actions that night.

* * *

Contrary to Rita Skeeter's information, Harry Potter had actually arrived three months before he was set to "officially" arrive.

Harry Potter threw the Prophet down in disgust. They didn't know what they were talking about. They never did. They didn't care about Lucius Malfoy had killed his father and they didn't care that his "mudblood" mother was anything that could be considered successful. And then there was the support behind Macnair.

Harry growled and spat.

This wouldn't do.

With a growl of frustration, Harry stripped off his robes and walked to his flat's study. Tipping a bust of Merlin forward, a concealed door slid open. Behind unbreakable glass with an unbreakable lock stood his armor, his other half, his new life. Harry ran a hand over the Dragon hide and Kevlar armor and traced the symbol of the bat absently. He had a long night ahead of him.

* * *

_Ten Years Prior_

"Mum!" little Harry said as he swung between his parents, a hand of his in a hand of each of theirs. "I wanna go to the movies again."

"Don't worry," she said. "We'll be there, but first we have to go to Gringott's. We can't see the pictures if we don't have the money."

Harry just grinned impishly and giggled. Lily Evans-Potter looked up at her husband with barely constrained mirth. James just gave her a wink and pantomimed a kiss. Then the green beam of light hit him and he fell to the ground in a heap, still holding onto Harry's hand.

"Daddy?" Harry asked. "Daddy, are you okay?" The little boy looked down in horror, not even realizing that they were being surrounded.

Lily, however, did not. Her wand was out, but her hand never left Harry's. Curses and hexes started flying that Harry had never heard before. People fell all around him. There were screams of terror, pain and glee, but Harry didn't hear any of it as his mother pulled him along with her. Then HE was over them. Red Eyes, skin so sallow it almost seemed to be made of scales stretched across the bones; black robes that seemed to swirl about like some specter of death.

Voldemort.

Harry recognized the blond man next to the scary man. He watched as his mother's spell cracked Lucius Malfoy's Death Eater mask, letting it fall in two pieces to the ground. Harry's world turned to pain as he was hit by a curse from the snake headed walking stick. He didn't even register that his mother was matching Voldemort spell for spell.

Lily Potter was much more powerful than anyone ever gave her credit for. She was also casting left handed while she held her son's hand in her dominant right. Most new mothers worried about living in a time for war and what that would entail for her children, and she was no different. Lily had reacted differently from most magical mothers, though, in that she had put every ounce of energy she had into three things: Harry, her marriage, and learning as many damn spells as she could. Most people stopped learning after they left Hogwarts; Lily never stopped.

She was lucky that the Death Eaters knew little about tactics. They surrounded her and Harry and were three or four thick. If one dodged a spell from her, it was quite likely to hit the one beside or behind the target. Five, six and then seven minions died as her cutting curses bounced off Voldemort's shield, the angle such that none were reflected back towards her or Harry. Many other curses crossed the battlefield and hit other Death Eaters when Lily and Harry dodged out of the line of fire. When your enemies outnumber you thirty to one, friendly fire is _your_ friend.

Her work with Harry was especially important. While laws prevented her from teaching Harry magic, she taught him to dodge and how to run. He knew how to be in a fight without fighting. That and the fact that Lily had layered every damn protection spell on his clothes that she could find essentially provided him protection from all but the least common curses and hexes. Aurors had less magical protections than her son had.

All the same, with all her success and even the few hits she'd landed, she knew she wasn't going to win this. When the Cruciatus curse hit the two remaining Potters and Lily felt her hand shake to such a degree that her wand fumbled from her jittery fingers, Lily Evans-Potter knew that it was over. She knew that she just lost. She'd never felt it before. She'd always been able to dodge them before.

Harry looked up sharply as the Cruciatus fell at the sharp, hissed words uttered from his mother's mouth. He didn't know the language, he didn't know the intent, but he could feel their power. Then a green curse hit her as well.

Like his father, Harry's mother died holding his hand. He didn't hear the laughter of the slaughterers or the arrival of four aurors who happened to be eating at the Leaky Cauldron, one of whom was still pulling up his pants as he ran out the door. He didn't see those aurors die under the almost lazy spells of the distracted Death Eaters. He didn't see anything until HE was pointing his wand directly at Harry's nose.

"Maggots turn into flies," the creature said, eliciting laughter from his followers. "_Avada Kedavra._"

Harry didn't remember anything in the minutes after those two words, but apparently something had destroyed the Dark Lord Voldemort and knocked his marked minions on their asses. The blast made the boy's last few moments of consciousness fuzzy and indistinct. Few remembered the exact words spoken or what spell was cast, only a few more sheltered were spared this. For most, the last thing they knew was Lily Potter's surprising ability, but there wasn't one among them who would admit that a mudblood bested the Dark Lord, so pureblooded James Potter got the credit.

The real auror force, who showed up, as usual, well after the fighting was over, found six-year-old Harry Potter holding his parents' hands in his own as he cried. Tears mixed with the blood from a jagged curse mark on his forehead. His mother's pearls, no longer tied together on their string, rolled along the Alley, stained red with blood.

The image graced the front page of the Daily Prophet not an hour later.

* * *

Four weeks after that, Harry sat in the audience, forbidden from giving testimony for "his own well being" against the man who tortured his mother and killed his father. However, Draco was able to act as a "character witness" and let loose those crocodile tears.

"Good members of the Wizengamot," Cornelius Fudge, the up and coming Ministry man, said as he spun around, hands clasped behind his back. In theory, he was the prosecutor. "As you can see, the actions taken by Lucius Malfoy were not his own. He is, indeed, as much a victim as James Potter of You-Know-Who's wrongdoing. We can only feel that he has suffered enough. We all have."

Remus Lupin looked down at the expression of pure rage on little Harry's face as the Wizengamot voted to free the blond wizard. On the other side of Harry, Sirius Black looked almost as furious.

"That bastard killed my Daddy!" Harry bellowed, jumping up into his seat. "_Murderer_! _**Murderer**_!"

More than a few of the Wizengamot looked over at the enraged boy and the barely restrained man next to him and wondered if they might have just made a mistake. Cornelius Fudge just sighed and waved his hand dismissively.

"Would someone _please_ control that child?" he said with the air of someone complaining about an unruly child in line for ice cream. Harry's screams were cut off by an attending auror's spell.

As Harry was dragged out of the room, he watched as Lucius Malfoy grinned triumphantly.

Silently, if only because the silence spell, Harry swore his revenge.

* * *

Three days later, Sirius Black was sent to Azkaban for attacking Lucius Malfoy. The specifics of the fight were never reported.

Remus took Harry to America where the laws supported werewolves, instead of persecuting them.

* * *

_(NOTE: this was written before the entire fic was finished)_

SpaceMary: You couldn't resist, could you?

DireSquirrel: No, I was being far too serious

SpaceMary: I hate that pun

DireSquirrel: Had to, it's a signature line

SpaceMary: thirteen Omake?

DireSquirrel: I had to get them out of my system

SpaceMary: …

SpaceMary: …

SpaceMary: …

SpaceMary: …

SpaceMary: …

SpaceMary: You originally wrote them into the story, didn't you?

DireSquirrel: …

DireSquirrel: …

DireSquirrel: …

DireSquirrel: maybe? Some, not all?

SpaceMary: you're such a jerk

DireSquirrel: are you sure?

SpaceMary: Yes, and Squirrel?

DireSquirrel: yeah?

SpaceMary: don't make fun of my IM grammar this time

DireSquirrel: …

DireSquirrel: …

DireSquirrel: …

SpaceMary: I'M SERIOUS!

DireSquirrel: You do realize that's giving me a perfect opening, right?

SpaceMary: and don't make that pun!

**Omake Six: Mary and the Squirrel**

"Why don't you try writing in the style of someone else?" SpaceMary suggested.

"I suppose," the Squirrel shrugged. "I have been in kind of a crack rut lately."

"Pretty much everything's been crack fics lately," agreed SpaceMary.

"Who do you suggest?" asked the Squirrel.

"How about someone very different from you?"

"Like Hemingway or Longfellow? Jane Austin or Pick-a-Bronte?" the Squirrel continued, throwing out other authors with rather different forms of insanity than this author.

"How about Frank Miller?"

The Squirrel paused and looked at SpaceMary with trepidation and something akin to the consideration of locking Mary in Arkham for her own good.

"I don't like most of Frank Miller's work," stated the Squirrel. "He's a misogynist!"

"But you admit he's a talented writer with a style very different from your own," pointed out SpaceMary.

"Yes...but..."

"So, write Harry Potter as if written by Frank Miller," SpaceMary decided.

"Okay...?"

_Harry Potter: the Frank Miller Version or HARRY POTTER ALL STARS!_

It wasn't easy for Harry Potter, Age Ten. Harry Potter, Age Ten, was an orphan and forced to live with his relatives. Harry Potter, Age Ten, was forced to cook and clean and lived in the Potter Cave under the stairs. whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Dudley whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores.

Harry Potter, Age Ten, got a letter from Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Freak whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Dursley whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores Aunt Petunia whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores.

The letter was stolen from Harry Potter, Age Ten and his relatives went into hiding. Then, on his birthday when all hope was lost, the HAGRID arrived. Harry Potter, Age Eleven went with the HAGRID where he became the Boy Wonder, er, the Boy-Who-Lived. whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Dumbledore whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Ron whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Underage Batgirl Nipples whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment Malfoy Derogatory-homophobic-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Racially-Derogatory-Alternative-To-Philosopher Stone whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores Derogatory-Sexist-Comment whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores whores.

SpaceMary growled as she looked up from the computer screen.

"What?" asked the Squirrel. "It's written like Frank Miller!"

"You know this isn't what I meant!"


	3. Chapter 3

_Now_

The rain in the weeks before Halloween were a baptismal. The Batman flew from tower to tower, charmed against muggle notice, as the rain pelted on his chest. It was cold. The force of his speed through London made it hit against his body like a thousand stinging hexes. The Batman didn't care. The physical discomfort meant he was alive, but it paled compared to any emotional pain he had suffered. They represented the birth of a new order, even as they heralded the death screams of the old. The Batman was reborn with the new order, a new creature, a creature of vengeance.

He looked down from his perch high above the city. For a person of magic like him, the wards masking Diagon and its offshoots from vision were pointless and at this range, the magic was like a beacon to him. His vision in his cowl was magically enhanced for telescopic sight, allowing him to see details he shouldn't be able to. His hearing was precise. The wizard vigilante shifted, shrinking into the form of a tiny brown bat that flew on into the night.

Contrary to popular belief, bats do not have poor vision. In truth, they simply have superior hearing in addition to their normal senses. While his animagus form was a poor choice in daylight, it was perfect for night and no one ever questioned his presence in hidden corners and shadowy, dark alleys.

From a side street of Diagon, the Batman heard a scream.

"Stupid mudblood," snarled the voice. "Learn your place! On your knees! Filth like you is barely worth this much, but at least I get something out of it."

The Batman recognized the man from his files.

Marcus Flint, son of a known Death Eater. Recent graduate of Hogwarts, where he had been a Slytherin Prefect. Numerous accusations against him had been ignored, both before and after his graduation. Stupid, but dangerous.

He didn't know the bushy haired witch being thrown to the ground, but the Batman understood the intent. It was, unfortunately, not exactly uncommon.

A flex of one hand and the few remaining lights in the secluded alley vanished into the deluminator in his gauntlet. Marcus Flint looked up in horror at the sudden change in light. The clouds parted and he saw something perched on a lamppost. The bright moon shown, lighting up the alley, but as Flint glanced at the witch pushing herself backwards, the figure was gone before Flint could turn back.

The next thing he saw was a black steel-reinforced gauntlet flying towards his face. Cartilage tore and cheek bones fractured as the fist struck home. Flint's face spun as the Batman moved in close, but the wizard managed to spin around and get off a silent spell. Flint looked on in horror as the spell dissipated against the golden bat on the figure's chest. The Batman didn't grin in superiority, only punched him again. Flint might have had a fast draw and he might have been brutal in a quidditch match, but the amount of physical training he'd had was negligible. Bones broke. His breathing came in shallow gasps, pain searing through him with ever minute movement.

The Batman didn't say anything as he continued to pound the assailant into a bloody pulp. Femurs, knees, and elbows were all broken. His nose was almost flat and shook with every blow, showing it was barely attached to the bone under the skin.

The Witch looked on in something that shifted between relief and horror. When the dark figure finally stopped his tenderizing of her assailant, she looked up.

"Who are you?" she inquired faintly, her voice just barely above a whisper. The Batman didn't respond.

Dissatisfied, the witch took in as much data as she could. His skin was white, but seemed pale and almost deathly in the moonlight. He didn't turn fully towards her, but his profile was dramatic. A sudden wind picked up and she reflexively snapped her eyes shut as her bushy hair got into her eyes. It was only an instant, but her savior and her assailant/his victim were gone. A shadow seemed to pass over her and she glanced up, only to see the figure of a cape and cowl silhouetted in the moon, one hand outstretched with the cape, the other holding the form of Marcus Flint. Another gust of wind, and the man was gone as if he never was.

Unsure of what had just happened, Hermione Granger reclaimed her fallen wand and made her way back to her flat, securing the door with every locking charm she knew.

* * *

Marcus Flint disappeared from the Wizarding World. To the muggle world, he was known as the John Doe (later self identified when he was recovered) who was traced to 24 counts of rape and murder all over the UK and Ireland. DNA, no matter if the defendant doesn't know what it is, doesn't lie like that. For some reason, the beating he'd received made him lose parts of his memory, but that didn't stop them from locking him up and throwing away the key. His trial was front page news as he gloated on the stand about his conquests and escapades. He proudly proclaimed that there was nothing they could do to keep him.

Five days after his incarceration, Marcus Flint awoke to the feeling of small wooden dowels falling on his face. At closer inspection it was the coreless pieces of his shattered wand. He glanced up at the wall and saw something he vaguely recognized. If he had actually passed his classes and challenged himself, he would have realized it was the arithmancy equations of an anti-Apparation ward.

* * *

Remus Lupin came out of his monthly seclusion (which usually had a day or two on either end of that particular night for preparation and recovery) to a new magical world. He was glad that the full moon was early that October, because he wanted to be there for Harry. He was expecting to find him moping around. Instead, he found his charge between two blondes with the scent of expensive booze and sex in the air.

"Harry," he said tiredly, massaging his forehead with one hand. The young wizard in question smirked and poked his head up out of its former resting place between two breasts that were either suffering from poorly cast enlargement charms or the worst set of implants the werewolf had ever seen.

"Oh, hi Moony," the younger wizard said with a slight wave. He brushed a hand over his companions making them shiver and giggle. "I'd introduce you, but, well, I don't really remember their names, and I'm not sure I speak their language."

One of them whispered something in his ear.

"Okay, so they speak my language, but hey, that's life, right?" Harry said with a shrug. His companions giggled and jiggled.

Remus just gave him a look; a long silent look.

Harry's shoulders sagged.

"Fine," he grumbled. He poked and prodded his companions until they looked at him. "Ladies, time to leave." He handed them each a card. "Take this to the door man, he'll get you home."

As they stood up, they wiggled their naughty bits yet again. Neither Remus nor Harry knew if the girls directed that action at Harry, Remus or both. They seemed to delight in recovering their clothes at the slowest speed possible. Finally, with a giggle and a kiss each, they were out the door.

As soon as it was shut and the footsteps vanished down the hall, both men changed demeanor.

"How'd it go last night?" Remus asked as Harry stood up and dumped the faux expensive bubbly wine down the drain. The bottle was the real thing, the contents were not.

"Time turner and the international portkey gave me an alibi," Harry said. He looked up with a pensive look. "The name Marcus Flint mean anything to you?"

"I recognize the family," Remus said. "Dark. Pretty much the whole family was marked during the war. What did he do?"

"Trying to rape a muggleborn," Harry said. "Obviously not his first time. He made me angry. Dropped him off at a hospital."

"Mungo's?"

Harry shook his head.

"Muggle."

"How bad?" Remus asked. Harry winced. He dropped the towel on the ground and turned towards his guardian fully.

"Bad," Harry admitted. "But he'll live."

"How bad, Harry?"

"Both legs, both arms," Harry reported. "A few ribs, cracked, but not fully, no punctured lungs. He'll have a new shape to his nose."

"You're sure you didn't make a mistake?" Remus asked. "You're sure he was doing what you thought he was doing?"

"I'm sure," Harry replied without hesitation. Then he paused, waiting for Remus to respond.

Remus nodded once. "Good work."

Harry's shoulders sagged a bit with relief.

"Now, the girls?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Cover story," Harry said without humor. "They're too stupid to be covering for me intentionally. Anyone who asks will know they're telling the truth. And besides, I'm in New York City. How could I be in London?"

"Do you _really_ not know their names?"

"I know their entire immediate families, their past five bosses, their education (failed A-Levels), and their original bra sizes," Harry said.

"Did you use protection?" Remus asked pensively.

"Never had sex with 'em," Harry said as he cleaned up the room. "They think I did."

"The smell?" Remus asked, wrinkling his nose. This time Harry smirked with real humor.

"You were a Marauder, figure it out," the boy replied with a smirk.

"That's the playboy charm Sirius always joked about making," Remus said.

"Right in one," Harry replied, waving a wand to clean the scent out and the stains vanished. Once more, it looked like the kind of flat that required a team of maids to take care of. Harry looked back up at his guardian, who still hadn't said anything. "What?"

"Are you sure no one can recognize you?" Remus asked.

Harry hesitated as he remembered the victim. He turned away so Remus couldn't see his face.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm sure."

"What about Lockhart?" Remus asked. "He's a one-trick-pony."

Harry turned back with a dark look. "He knows his job."

* * *

By the time Harry "arrived" in London for the memorial to his father (his mother not even being mentioned among the dead), 14 other "former" Death Eaters were attacked and obliviated. Most of them were so bad off that they didn't even remember their potty training. But they all remembered their crimes. Unfortunately for them, they forgot that they were supposed to be hiding them.

The Prophet had made a mention that most of them were involved in that final battle in Diagon Alley, so Harry knew he had to make a big impression.

That was why he made his speech when shit-faced, utterly ossified, pissed, blinkered, drunk or whatever you want to call it. It was double duty. First, it gained sympathy for the real victims by showing their son still so effected by their deaths. Second, it made Harry look like a harmless self-destructive youth.

It was, of course, an act.

Part of the act was suffering through Minister Cornelius Fudge's "moving" speech about all the other victims. About the third time Fudge talked about how sad it was that good, upstanding men and women were controlled by You-Know-Who, Harry puked on the Minister. It was petty revenge, but it felt good. He then "passed out" on the podium.

Then the lights went out. There were screams, both from the Minister protesting Harry's regurgitated stomach contents on Fudge's new suit, and the people simply surprised by the sudden darkness. Then the screams were gone. Fingers pointed up at the other visitor.

The Batman had arrived.

He stood on the roof of the local bookshop, his cape fluttering about him in the breeze, the peaks of his cowl rising like spears from his head.

He said nothing.

Then pandemonium broke out once more. The reactions were varied. Some were simply confused. Some cheered the dark figure, others cowered back in horror as they tried to get away. Some, Lucius Malfoy in particular, growled in impotent rage at the insult sent towards the pureblooded elite.

Fudge ordered the Aurors capture him and a few complied. Others hesitated.

"I want him Kissed!" Fudge snarled.

As the first spells flew out, the Batman didn't even dodge as they missed. Then he was gone.

Two minutes later, Lucius Malfoy, standing on the podium looked out across the panicked crowd to see dark hands pull Flint, Sr. backwards into the darkness of an alley. The blond wizard whispered to Fudge and the Minister of Magic ordered the Aurors down the alley.

All they found was Flint's broken wand.

* * *

**Omake Fifteen: Harry and Moony**

"Harry?"

"Yeah, Moony?"

"I've been meaning to ask this for a while..." Remus said trailing off as Harry buckled on his utility belt. He pointed across the Bat Cave towards a freestanding bronze disk about eight feet high.

"But why do you have a giant knut in here?"

"Don't ask me," Harry said, "blame Luna. The animated dinosaur is her fault as well."

"Why do we employ her again?"

"Because even if she told everybody about my secrets, no one would believe her," Harry said as he placed some small sized balls into some magically expanded pouches on his belt. "That, and she's about the smartest person I know for this kind of stuff. By the way, she said you need to help her fumigate for nargles again."

"Really?"

"Yup, and since she claims it takes kissing to get rid of nargles, I'm starting to wonder why she said 'again' in that message," Harry commented, the humor seeming incongruous with his intimidating appearance.

"I am not a cradle robber."

"Keep telling yourself that," Harry said.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione Granger wasn't sure why she was there at first. Her job as owl clerk third class did make her a Ministry employee, but still, she wasn't connected to any of the victims or the Death Eaters. The war ended before she even knew she was a witch. She certainly didn't have a connection to the drunken sot who just hurled on the Minister. But there she was.

Hermione was, in her early years, believed to be the brightest witch of her age. In reality, that was probably true, but in the Wizarding World, that made her a target. Scholasticly, she was near the top, but she was at the near bottom of the social barrel at Hogwarts. Only a select few were lower on the popularity totem pole. She learned quickly that brilliant muggleborns were not the rising stars, they were clay pigeons. She had, stubbornly, doubled her efforts and while she managed the highest results in Hogwarts since another muggleborn named Lily Evans, it wasn't worth the effort. She soon learned that muggleborns, especially muggleborn witches, weren't allowed to take their NEWTs without the Board of Governors' approval. No muggleborn had ever been approved.

In hindsight, professor McGonagall had lied when she said that Hermione could be Minister one day. It was something Hermione had never forgiven the transmutation professor for. She hadn't even been allowed to be prefect since Headmistress Umbridge disapproved.

So there she was, the brightest witch of her age, alone in a flat that most muggles would have condemned long ago. She was unable to get a job in the muggle world since she hadn't kept up her mundane studies. She learned quickly that there wasn't any university in her future. There weren't going to be any magical masteries after her name. She wasn't going to be written in Hogwarts, a History.

Hermione Granger, scarily brilliant in everything she did, got a job as an owl clerk third class and watched as purebloods who barely got an OWL, much less full Os were promoted ahead of her. She realized that she had no future anywhere, and so she settled. She settled for less than she deserved, and she knew it.

Her parents, on the other hand, were ignorant of everything going on. Hermione had been so embarrassed that she never told them what really happened. She never told them about the destruction of clothes, the exploding cauldrons and the petty bullies who strutted around like peacocks. She had told them she was going back to school and had gotten a job for over the summer. They were ecstatic. The guilt was almost unbearable as she "told" them about how well things were going. It had taken years, but she had finally learned to lie to her parents.

When the Batman first appeared, she wasn't interested. She figured it was the same kind of Prophet sensationalism and pureblooded propaganda.

Then Flint caught her in the alley. In hindsight, she should have known it was stupid to take that short cut after dark. She knew she wasn't the only witch attacked in that alley. She should have been smarter. She should have been thinking. Hell, she shouldn't have even been in the magical world, anymore. But coulda, woulda, shoulda: she had been captured by Marcus Flint of all people and was on her knees in a dark alley where passersby were more likely to join in than help.

Then HE appeared.

The Batman.

Suddenly, Hermione wanted to know everything there was about his masked vigilante. She dove into her research like a woman possessed. She hadn't been this driven since she found out about the magical world in the first place.

But now, now it was so much more. It was so much more important. Every Prophet article, every bit of mail that people forgot, and there were many, and other, more esoteric sources such as the internet where other muggleborns traded information was thoroughly searched.

Hermione Granger had been raised to respect authority. She had tried her best and she had failed. She realized when she investigated the so-called "victims" of the Batman that all of them were guilty of the crimes stapled to their chests. She also realized there were more disappearances that weren't mentioned in the Prophet.

She only knew about them because a Hogwarts dropout she knew, Sally-Anne Perks, was in med school and had recognized Marcus Flint. It was a simple thing to cross-reference online the names of Hogwarts alumni with the names of recently brutalized and convicted gentlemen. She laughed when she realized that her old school torturer was serving time as an accessory to murder and rape.

Hermione realized the Batman was doing the right thing. The magical world was wrong. The people who had power didn't deserve it, and trying harder hadn't gotten her anywhere. If she didn't do something, she'd be a seventy-five year old owl clerk third class with a string of cats and kneasles as her only companions.

Something had to be done.

* * *

Flint Sr. was returned, as was Batman's MO, the next day, naked, bound, with a list of crimes stapled to his chest. Another former Death Eater was next to him. Nobody even knew the latter man was missing.

Lucius was starting to get worried.

* * *

Fudge put a 10,000 galleon bounty on the Batman. Dead or alive, but Fudge preferred alive because Lucius wanted him Kissed. The intent was akin to chumming the water for sharks.

Lucius forgot that bats don't swim.

* * *

Sixteen year old Harry Potter, the owner of the eponymous Potter Industries, with divisions in both the magical and muggle worlds, continued to be the stereotype of the trust fund kid. He was with new women every night. He went to clubs until late in the evening, he partied until he was completely drunk. He made sure that the tabloids had plenty of photos.

He was especially proud of the one that had him getting slapped right in front of the younger prince. He had it framed in his private workspace. Remus referred to it as his "Bat Cave."

"It's not a cave," Harry argued. "It's a floor left off the blueprints that nobody remembers."

"Fidelius charms have their weaknesses," Remus reminded him.

"I know," Harry said. "But I'm careful."

"I still think I should have been the secret keeper," Remus said. "Better yet, Padfoot."

"It has to be me," Harry said. "There are times when neither of you are readily available. What happens if I need someone here in an emergency?"

"What happens if someone hits you with an Unforgivable and you're in an emergency?" Remus countered. "I still think you shouldn't be doing this alone."

"This is an old argument," Harry said as he stripped off his day clothes.

"Did you ever figure out who that witness was?" Remus asked. Harry tossed a file on the table in the middle of the room before turning towards his locker. Remus flipped through the pages. "Hermione Granger?"

"Look at her Owl results," Harry said as he dressed in his under-padding before stepping into the lower half of his armor.

"All Os? What's she doing as an owl clerk?" Remus asked. "With this kind of raw talent, she should be apprenticed to Nicolas Flamel or someone of that caliber."

"New law changed things since your time," Harry explained. "Muggleborns are seen as a draw on resources, so only those with approval of the Board of Governors can take their NEWTs."

"When did that happen?"

"About two weeks **after Ms. Granger's tests,**" Harry answered, his voice magically changing into a deeper growl as the cowl was pulled down over his face. The eyes glazed over and began glowing white. Remus continued looking at the report.

"Bloody Merlin!" he muttered. Harry set his jaw as he pulled the cloak about his shoulders.

**"Just got to the hospital wing records, eh?"**

Remus stuttered for a few moments before gesturing at the page with outrage. "She's got to have adamantine willpower to have survived this long when having this happen to her."

Harry turned to his oldest friend and guardian as he slid on his gauntlets.

**"There are some things in this world that are just plain wrong."**

"You've got that right," Remus growled. He snapped the folder shut and began walking away, before he stopped and turned. Harry placed some small-sized balls into some magically expanded pouches on his belt, then snapped a lock between his armor and his belt before snapping the pouch shut and began loading Bat-a-rangs into his magically expanded hand compartment. They could be launched with a flick of his wrist. His wand, and three other identical backups with placed in their unbreakable sheaths along each forearm.

"What are those balls you put in your utility pouch?" Remus asked.

**"New thing Luna and the Twins came up with - Thermal Detonators,"** Harry replied. Remus raised an incredulous eyebrow. **"The Twins like Star Wars. Fiendfyre napalm grenades."**

"We should have never let them watch the Discovery Channel," Remus said. "Modern Marvels is going to be the death of us all. But I thought you didn't kill?"

**"They won't learn their lesson if they just die," **Harry agreed. **"My way makes them into living symbols of what happens and prevents martyrs. If anything, public embarrassment should have an effect.."**

"Aren't Fiendfyre napalm grenades overkill?" Remus asked.

**"If you're going to burn something down, you'd better do it right,"** the Batman said a moment before turning into a bat and flying away. Remus watched for a moment and shook his head as his charge flew out an air vent into greater London.

* * *

Omake!

**Omake Eight: The Sharks are circling**

Fudge put a 10,000 galleon bounty on the Batman. Dead or alive, but Fudge preferred alive because Lucius wanted him Kissed. The intent was akin to chumming the water for sharks.

George Weasley raised a finger. "Ah-HA!"

"We've got-" said Fred.

"-Just the thing!"

They held out an overly large spray bottle. The Batman picked it up skeptically and inspected it. "What the hell?" he exclaimed as he read the label.

"We've brought you the _**SHARK REPELLANT!**_" both said, holding a spray bottle above their heads like it was Excalibur. Harry glared at them both, first Fred, and then George, both for equal time.

"You two are never allowed in the lab ever again."


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione figured it out. She had stopped learning. She had given up. She had started sinking into depression and realized that she had let them win. She was supposed to be the brightest witch of her age. Why had she given up? Why had she stopped? Leaning back in her flat, Hermione grinned. She had let them win.

Well, she'd let them think they were still winning.

What they had taken from her: honor, prestige, self-respect; Hermione would take back. She would be another shadow in the dark. She might not be the same kind of person, a battle mage, a warrior, a dark knight, like the Batman, but she wasn't without her resources. Her respect for the Wizarding World was broken.

"So, Crookshanks, why should I respect something that isn't worthy of my respect?" she asked the orange half-kneasle as she gently stroked his back. "Why should I continue to play the game by their rules?"

Crookshanks jumped off her lap and sat in front of her closet door.

"What's up, little buddy?" she asked, walking over to him. She had long since realized that her familiar was much more intelligent than the average feline. Hell, the little orange guy was smarter than most of Hogwarts' "greatest" students. She opened the door to reveal a black catsuit. It was something she made on a whim for a Halloween costume that she had never worn. She had just never got the courage. It was ironic because she'd layered it with protections and charms. She picked up her familiar and felt him rub his head against her neck. She reached out and fingered the material. It was dragon leather. It had cost her almost a month's pay and it was never worn. "Maybe a few more enchantments and then I'll try it out. No one would ever expect it of that mousy little know-it-all, would they?"

Crookshanks began to purr as he rubbed up around her legs.

"Yes, momma's back," Hermione said, scooping her familiar into her arms..

Pulling the costume out and laying it over her desk, she never even realized that she had skipped work. Ironically, it would be three days before work realized she hadn't been in.

* * *

Fudge was holed up in his mansion as everything fell apart. There were people who wanted his head, so he'd hired three more hit-wizards to find and take out the Batman. This was all _his _fault. He grumbled as he opened his fancy French wine and pulled a crystal glass and set it on the table. It wasn't the good stuff, only 200 galleons a bottle, but it was better than his usual table wine. He was stressed enough that he deserved a pick me up.

Just as he began to pour, all light vanished from the room. He spun around, not realizing he was pouring his booze on the carpet. He spun as he saw some movement out the window from the corner of his eye, but by the time he'd turned his head, whatever it was gone. He fumbled for his wand, but dropped it as the sound of breaking glass came from down the hallway.

Letting out a little shriek, he bent down on all fours and padded around, hoping to find the stick in the darkness before whatever it was could get him. At last, he felt around and his hand landed on the carved wooden handle, only to have a heavy boot step on his hand.

**"Minister, I think it's time we had a talk,"** spoke a gruff voice from above him. Lightning flashed and Fudge was rewarded with the image of the Batman for a brief moment that seemed seared against his eyes. The cowl pulled over his nose, the horns that seemed to reach for the sky and the cape that seemed part of the body.

"Batman! Guards! Guards!"

**"They're distracted," **Batman said before hefting the rotund man by his robes and depositing him on the same counter he'd spilled the booze. Fudge whined as he realized he just sat in about 40 galleons of wine. **"You've been a very bad boy, Cornelius. You've been a bad boy for a long time."**

"You'll pay for assaulting the Minister! I'll have you Kissed!"

The next thing Cornelius Fudge knew, he was flying across the room and crumpled into a heap among the bar stools made of dragon leather and oakwood of wand quality. The Batman took his time walking over. Lightning flashed again, revealing a determined look upon the man's set jaw.

** "Don't you understand? You're a monster, Fudge, but you're the worst kind," **the Batman growled. **"You don't even realize what you've become. You don't even know who you're supposed to represent."**

"I'm the Minister!"

**"You're a monster! A monster that lets other monsters get away with murder simply because they give you a little gold,"** seethed Batman, his voice filled with menace.

"No! I never!"

**"You never care about the consequences, you piece of shit,"** the Batman growled. **"You prance around like some noble prince and you don't even see the strings. You're a marionette, you're a fiddle played by a master. And you don't care. Every one of those 'Law abiding citizens' that you let go ten years ago was a murderer, a rapist and a torturer. And you let them get away with it. You didn't even care to hear the evidence from the one witness of the entire massacre! Twenty-nine people dead and you let them get away with it!"**

"You're lying!"

**"You have no idea who you're dealing with," **the Batman growled as he stepped into the light streaming in from the streetlights outside. Fudge watched in horror as the Batman reached up to his cowl and pulled it back.

"Harry Potter! NO!"

"Oh, yes, Fudge," Harry growled. "You made me what I am! I watched Lucius Malfoy kill my father in broad daylight and you let him get away with it. My mother and I were tortured in the middle of Diagon Alley and you _did_ _NOTHING_!"

"They said they were put under the Imperius!" Fudge protested as he lost control of his bowels.

"So, you're not only corrupt, you're stupid, too?" Harry bellowed as lightning flashed again. "I never would have become this if you hadn't let them go. If they were punished, truly punished, this never would have happened. This wouldn't have gotten so bad that it took someone like me to clean it up. I had to become this to fix _your_ problems!"

"Ha-Harry, my boy," Fudge stuttered, holding his palms out in a placating manner. "It-it was just politics!"

Harry lost control and backhanded the gibbering fool across the mouth. Spittle, blood and shards of teeth flew across the room.

**"YOU PLAYED WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES!"** The Batman howled as he hauled the overweight politician to his feet. **"You cursed this nation with your greed. You released those who should have paid for their crimes by long years of punishment. But now, I curse you, Cornelius Fudge. I curse you, and every Death Eater, and every elitest spawn that escaped justice. And this is how it's going to work: you'll remember everything that happened tonight. You'll remember every single piece, every detail, but you won't be able to communicate anything about this to anyone. You get to watch as your house of cards falls out from beneath you while you prance around like a little penguin with your fancy dress robes and your two-hundred-galleons-a-bottle wine, and your little friends let you persecute everyone around you simply because you're a small little man. And you get to know it was your own damn fault!"**

The hands let go and Fudge fell back down into the puddle of his offal.

Lightning flashed again and the Minister was alone once more.

* * *

Amelia Bones was sometimes amazed she was still in the position she was in. Unlike almost all the other Department Heads, she wasn't a former Death Eater or sympathizer. She was also a woman. In the _Wizarding_ world, that was something of a sign of her ability. Arguably, the only woman more powerful in magical Britain at the moment was Deloris Umbridge, the Headmistress of Hogwarts, but she was nothing more than the Minister's toady and Malfoy's hand in Hogwarts.

Amelia Bones did not approve of the direction magical Britain had taken in the past decade. She was something of a relic, despite her relative youth in the ministry department heads. She was also hard to remove. She couldn't be bribed. She didn't have anything anyone could use to blackmail her, and she did her job. She had the unfortunate situation of having to make sure that she didn't do her job _too_ well, or Lucius and company would be aiming for her head. Things weren't supposed to be this way. She knew the punishments that went through were weighted heavily on the muggleborn side. The next biggest group were so-called blood traitors. She knew too many pureblood from _those_ families that always seemed to get off.

And now, she found herself, as the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, responsible for the hunt for the one person who was actually trying to make things right.

The Batman.

He had them in a tizzy. They were frantic and they were afraid. Those families weren't thinking straight.

She thought back to the conversation she'd recently had with the Minister.

"Minister, this bounty isn't a good idea," She'd said.

"The Batman must die!" Fudge snarled.

"What happened to due process?" Amelia asked with an edge to her voice.

"Haven't you seen what he did to those poor men?" Fudge asked.

"So far, he's only attacked people who have since been linked with crimes," Amelia said. She didn't mention that all of them on display thus far were Death Eaters that escaped justice.

"He needs to be stopped!"

"Yes! He's taking the law into his own hands!" Amelia had almost yelled, slamming her palms onto the Minister's desk, so she was leaning over him. "But your damn bounty is hurting people! Do you know how many people have been brought in as the Batman? 261. Almost half of those were dead! And the Batman keeps going! You're getting people killed!"

"What?" Fudge asked, clearly hearing this for the first time. "What do you mean? I'm the Minister! I can't be! I mean-"

"Get rid of the bounty," Amelia said. "Because every time someone brings in a dead body they claim is the Batman, and it isn't, you've just made another murderer. And that's what it is, murder, not a case of mistaken identity." She slapped a picture of a pretty dead man. "Cedric Diggory. Played Seeker for Puddlemere. They claimed he was Batman, but he's got 500 witnesses for most of the attacks because he was in the Merlin-be-damned GAME!" the head of the DMLE slapped another picture down. "Auror Shacklebolt. One of MINE, and some asshole comes dragging him in, proud of poisoning him in his sleep! Merlin, we all know the Batman is WHITE! His picture was on the front page of the bloody Prophet!"

She went through thirteen other photos with the same description. Fudge looked like he wanted to throw up.

"You need to remove the bounty!" Amelia bellowed at the cowering minister. "NOW!"

"Okay, okay," he said. "I'll take care of everything."

'Or that's what he had claimed,' Amelia thought to herself as an unfamiliar owl appeared at her office window. Sliding it open, she gasped. The letter, a folded photo really, slid from her hands and fell face up on the desk. It was Susan. She was naked and someone was hitting her with the Cruciatus. There was no sound to the photo, but she could see her niece, Amelia's sole reason for living, screaming in torturous pain.

In an elegant script, written in some brown ink, were the words: KNOW YOUR PLACE.

Her initial shock passed, she leaned in close and realized it wasn't written in ink.

It was blood.

Amelia Bones fell back in her chair and clutched her chest. She was still staring at the photo when she realized she wasn't alone.

Almost before she could blink, her wand was out and pointed at the figure.

"You're Batman," she said.

**"Yes," **he replied. **"I had nothing to do with that, but I'll get her back."**

"I can't let you do that," she said. "I have to bring you in."

**"If you move any of your department's resources, they'll know and your niece will be dead before you can begin to move out," **the Batman argued as if she wasn't pointing a wand at his chest. **"They'll never see me coming."**

"How would you even know where to look?" Amelia asked, her hand shaking with panic. "How would you even start?"

**"Easy,"** the Batman said in his gruff, low tone. **"I'd ask a man about a wand."**

"Ollivander," Amelia whispered in realization. "He knows-"

**"Every wand he's ever sold,"** the Batman finished for her. **"And if that's second hand or stolen, it still gives me a place to start."**

She was torn between her duty to her position and her duty to her niece. Gritting her teeth, she handed the photo to the Batman.

**"You won't regret this," **the Batman said, folding the letter and sliding it into a compartment on his belt that Amelia couldn't even believe existed. **"And by the way, there's a present for the department in cell 24."**

Amelia glanced at the map of the department on her door, but by the time she glanced back, the Batman was gone.

* * *

**Omake Seven: the Batman and the Son of Deadpool™**

"Holy Rusted Metal Pixie!" Harry Potter the Son of Deadpool™ exclaimed. "We're in the wrong fic!"

Pixie just held her face in her hands and shook her head.

**"What are you doing in my city?"** Harry Potter the Batman demanded.

"No! What are you doing in _MY_ city?" Harry Potter the Son of Deadpool™ demanded.

**"I'm Batman!"** Harry Potter the Batman growled.

Harry Potter the Son of Deadpool™ pulled on his mask and made his own fake growling voice.

_"I'm Arthur Bea Wilson!"_

Pixie threw her hands up in the air and flew off.

"I'm gonna stay up here so I don't slip on the testosterone _or_ the stupidity."


	6. Chapter 6

Ollivander was not a young man. In face, he was a very, very old man. He was old enough that Nicolas Flamel considered him an old friend. He'd seen Dark Lords come and go, and he had weathered them all due to the simple fact that he didn't make waves and he was the only competent wand maker in Britain.

**"I need to ask you about a wand,"** said a gruff voice from the shadows of the wandmaker's workshop. Ollivander was not used to being the one surprised and he much preferred it the other way around.

"Then come back in the morning, I'll be happy to fit you," the old wandmaker said with a wave for the voice's owner to leave.

**"I'm not here to buy, I'm here about a wand you already sold,"** the voice said, taking a step out of the shadows.

"The Batman," Ollivander said with genuine surprise. He took a moment to gather his wits about him and shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't help criminals."

The Batman thrust the picture into the man's face. He watched as Ollivander kept his gorge down with a significant amount of mental effort. **"This girl's in danger. You know every wand you ever sold. Who owns that wand?"**

Ollivander closed his eyes and winced.

**"Are you going to help?"**

Ollivander gulped and nodded, his eyes still shut in sadness, as if to shield the image from his mind. "Theodore Nott. He's a-"

**"-Sixth year Slytherin at Hogwarts,"** the Batman finished for him. **"Thank you."**

He was gone before Ollivander opened his eyes.

* * *

Sixteen year olds weren't supposed to be able to apparate. In magical Britain, there were laws against children using magic at a certain age, but the Batman didn't have the luxury of seeking out a floo connection to the magic boarding school, as that might cause some questions and leave far too much evidence. Not to mention disturb his mystique of being anywhere, at any time. However, it would have taken just as much time and caused just as many problems seeking out a portkey, so he had to satisfy himself by taking the many leaps up the island into the village of Hogsmeade. From there it was just a short flight up to the castle.

The Batman turned back into a human as he perched on a gargoyle far above the ground. They were still holding astronomy classes this late, and while he didn't want to be seen, he didn't have the same abilities in human form. He tapped the side of his cowl.

**"Bat Cave,"** he said. A moment later, an image of Luna Lovegood appeared in the side of his vision.

"What's up, Boss-Bat?" was her perky response.

**"I need to know where Theodore Nott is,"** he replied. **"I need you to check the map."**

He could see her clicking a few keys on a keyboard, bringing up the magical map program. Years had marched on and the Rune-Computer was the next big thing - outside of Britain's magical backwater. Thanks to Remus and the Marauders' notes, they had a Map of every magical building and community in Britain.

"Hogwarts," Luna replied. "Slytherin Common Room. He's on top of another dot. Samantha Bulstrode? Possible relation to Millicent? Not familiar with that name, I'll have to check the files."

**"Current Password?"**

"Toujour Pur," Luna replied, she grinned at Batman's scoff. "You might want to take care of the Munchers in the Castle tonight as well. If you break in once, they might make it harder for you next time."

**"Snape, the Torturer Toad, and the Carrows,"** Batman mused. **"It's conceivable, but Susan's the priority tonight. I might just take them. I'm thinking Snape might have some extra information for us."**

"Sounds good, should I have the Wonder Twins show up with the Portable Hole?"

**"I'll drop them off at the Shack,"** the Batman replied.

"Sounds good, Oracle out," Luna said, breaking the connection.

The instant the connection was over, the Batman took a dive off the gargoyle and transformed in midair, flying around with his echolocation until he found the hole in the wards that let the owls in. After that, it was simple to fly down to the Slytherin Common Room.

* * *

From the point of view of the Slytherins, the door opened and everything filled with smoke. Then they passed out.

The Batman walked in, his head covered with both a gas-mask and a bubble-head charm. Nott was unclothed from the waist down and had previously been in some recreational activity. The girl couldn't have been more than a second year and she was wearing Ravenclaw colors, so the Batman suspected she wasn't completely willing. A quick check confirmed that she was under compulsions, had suffered from multiple obliviations and was probably frequently put under the imperious curse. He placed the girl in Hospital Wing as he dragged the unconscious Nott behind him. With a derisive snort, he kicked the school nurse in her bed.

Madame Pomfrey shook herself awake to find the Batman standing over her. He pointed one clawed, steel armored gauntlet at the sleeping girl.

"Go do your job," he commanded. She glanced at poor Samantha and let out a sigh of pain. She nodded absently and turned to say something to the intruder, but he was gone. This kind of thing never would have happened if Albus was still alive. Poor girl.

* * *

**"Wake up, Nott,"** growled a voice.

Theodore Nott woke up. Then he opened his eyes. Then he screamed.

He continued to scream as he stared down at the moonlit world below, far, far below. Hogwarts looked so different from the air, and so much more so when you were upside down and there wasn't a broom in sight.

**"Don't bother,"** The Batman growled. **"No one can hear us, but us. Now, where is Susan Bones?"**

Nott screamed again. Under his cowl, the Batman rolled his eyes and let the rope slide a little.

"Ahhg!" Nott screamed once more, only to be silenced as the Batman gave the rope a sudden jolt, shaking the captive.

** "Where is Susan Bones?"**

"I-I'm-I'm innocent! I don-I don't know nothin'!" he protested, shaking the rope.

**"If you struggle, I might lose my grip," **came the gruff voice. Nott stopped shaking.

**"I know you were there, or you let someone use your wand; either way, you're a part of this,"** the Batman growled, letting the sticking charm on his boots allow him and his captive to talk face to face. **"I know it was you, I know you know who has her. I also know there's no cushioning charm under you."**

"But-but you don't kill people!" Theodore Nott protested.

**"WHERE IS SUSAN BONES?"**

"_MALFOY MANOR! _She's being held at Malfoy Manor," Theodore Nott sobbed, tears running up his face and dripping from his head to the ground far below.

**"Great,"** the Batman said as he turned to walk away.

"Wait! What about me?" Nott asked.

**"What about you?"**

"Let me down!"

**"You wouldn't survive the drop," **The Batman said over his shoulder, **"and like you said, I don't kill people."**

"But I told you what you wanted to know!"

**"And you're still a torturer, a kidnapper, and a pedophile, most likely a rapist and quite possibly an accessory to murder," **the Batman called back. **"The Privacy charms will wear off at sunrise. If you're lucky, Nott, the knots will hold until then."**

"You can't do this to me!"

**"You got yourself roped up in this." **The Batman waved one hand over his shoulder. **"I don't recommend shaking too much."**

"You can't do this to me! … … ... BATMAN!"

* * *

**Omake Eleven: Wonder-Wol **(If you think that's a typo, you need to read more A. A. Milne)

She was the greatest of her people, raised and trained to be the best warriors in the world. She flew over London, a city in the World of Men and looked down in disgust. To be separated from her homeland simply for _this_. The exiled princess flew low and did a Wonder-Whirl on the way down, removing her magical armor and turning back into mild-mannered Hedwig: Post Owl.

'Honestly, Magical Geographic: Owls?' she scoffed as she glanced at the package the Owl Clerk Third Class was attaching to her leg. ' How much porn does this Rubeus Hagrid need, really?'

The World of Men was such a disgusting place.


	7. Chapter 7

"Malfoy Manor," the Witch said softly to herself. "Never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

She wasn't sure what to call herself, but there she was, dressed in black dragon leather that was so tight it was form fitting and had to be charmed for comfort and support because anything under it would be seen. It had expansion charms that couldn't be seen by viewers, but she was quite aware of. This was the sixth house she'd hit and it was starting to get addicting. There was something about taking from these people who hurt her so much that made everything...so right!

She realized that she was probably going to be sacked from the owl-room, but at this point she didn't care. She could sleep during the day and ignore everything until nightfall. There was a whole other magical world to explore and for the first time, she wasn't afraid to try.

She knew this one would be more difficult than the Parkinson house, but she wanted the challenge. She just saw it like finals at the end of the year. She'd been studying all week, completed the practice exams, and now it was time for the final. She couldn't wait to hear about Draco Malfoy, when he realized his father's precious possessions were gone.

She'd taken a chance going in through the roof, but something she'd realized in the Wizarding world is that for all its obsession with brooms and flight, they rarely looked up if it wasn't a game. Using a leaping charm she'd found in one of her many books, the catsuited witch leapt with supreme grace from the ground up to the fourth floor, landing with barely a sound. There were four dormers on each side as it was identical from each angle, so it was only logical to use a simple sticking charm to let her climb around and then the claws on her fingers sprung out and carefully picked away at the ancient sealant on the windows, letting one tiny pane fall out. She deftly caught it before it could fall. Then it was simplicity itself to unlock the window and lower herself inside.

The attic was unused and blatantly so. Beds for servants lined each wall, bunked two high. The brightest witch of her age suddenly realized that this was originally a _muggle_ house.

{ Perhaps the Malfoys aren't as pureblooded as they wanted everyone to believe, } she reflected to herself before deciding to continue on with her self-assigned tasks.

There were always two sets of stairs for places like this: the primary entrance and the servant's entrance. Nobles and the rich never wanted to see those who washed their clothes or prepared their food, so those people always had their own routes through a house like this. Spotting an ancient trap door, the metal rusted with age, the witch hit it with a grease charm and a silence charm. The door slid open with ease and she slipped down, finding herself in an unfamiliar room.

The primary color was black. Black drapes, black silk bed sheets and a black cloak hanging from the door. Even the wood on the bed and the dresser was black enamel or ebony. The witch thought it was odd that such a magic superiority focused family would have an unenchanted mirror, but a quick glance through the bureau and the vanity revealed little of worth aside from a few rings and a large gaudy locket. The room was clean, but otherwise unlived in. No matter. It was time to explore.

The door was locked from the outside, but a first level "Alohamora" turned the lock's chamber and it clicked open. With a twist of the knob, it swung free, revealing doors upon doors on either side of the hallway which curved around the house. Guest quarters, the witch guessed as she slipped out, closing the door behind her.

She should have been more careful and checked the door.

The hallway turned into stairs headed down and continued on the same floor off to one side. On a whim, she slid down the railing and landed on the second floor. This was clearly more lived in. Tapestries clung to the walls. Candelabras hung from the ceiling. Candle sticks made of gold lit the way. It was tempting to simply strip the room clean, but she didn't have room for everything. The candlesticks she tucked into the expanded pocket in her cleavage, leaving no impression that she carried anything that they couldn't already see. Wasn't magic wonderful?

The house was deserted, so the Witch took what she wished: a painting there, a statue here. There were hollow spaces on the walls where possessions once were. Anyone walking through would know they'd been robbed. It was time to find the Malfoy Vault and then maybe the library. You never knew what kind of magic these people were keeping for themselves.

* * *

Lucius Malfoy was pleased with himself. He didn't care about the deaths, at all. He'd blame them on the Batman after the fact. That bounty would get him what he wanted, now that he finally had that Bones woman under his thumb. She'd been a problem since the time she graduated from the academy, and when she'd attained her current post mere days before Fudge was confirmed as Minister, it had entrenched her fully. His pawn in the Minister's seat would have lost face if he'd replaced such a successful and respected person so soon after he took office. It would have made him look weak and stupid, so Malfoy had let her continue on in her position. But he needed that bounty to continue. The more people who died, the worse the Batman looked.

And the Batman was dangerously popular with people who weren't his people.

That wasn't something Lucius Malfoy could let stand. He was waiting to hear if Bones was going to be stupid when a green face appeared in the fireplace.

"Malfoy! Where's my son?" Nott Sr. bellowed into the flames.

"Nott, he's at Hogwarts, where else?" Malfoy argued.

"He was supposed to contact me, but Umbridge won't answer the floo," Nott countered. "You've got some scheme going, and if you've got my son caught up in it..."

He let the threat hang.

"Fine," snarled Malfoy, flicking his wand to lower the wards on the fireplace. "Enter."

Tall, thin, elderly, Nott strode through the flames and into the Malfoy Manor. "What are you up to?"

"Rather blunt tonight, aren't we?"

"Do not toy with me, you upstart," Nott snarled back, mere inches from the blond wizard's face. "I was playing this game before you were even born. I know a desperate man when I see one, and I'm looking at one right _now_."

"_Bones needed to learn her place,_" snarled Malfoy, throwing himself back into his chair.

"Is this about that Batman freak again?"

Malfoy's head whipped up in something nearing shock, but he was certainly surprised. Nott waved his hand.

"Do you think you're the only one who's concerned? And besides, you're always talking about it," Nott derided.

"Bones had gotten Fudge to remove the bounty because a few people died," Malfoy scoffed.

"Over a hundred," Nott said, tapping his cane impatiently on the floor. "Those are numbers people are starting to notice, Malfoy!" he sneered at the younger man. "You're losing control and we can all see it. The sharks are circling, but you're the one who's swimming, Malfoy. Parkinson's already broken off his engagement of his daughter to your son. They're already cutting you loose. If you fail at this..."

He trailed off and delighted in the furious look on his companion's face. But instead of responding, Malfoy held up a hand. "Someone just came through the wards."

"They're here for the Bones girl," Nott said.

"How did you know?" Malfoy asked, surprised.

"_Please_, there's nothing else you could threaten Bones with," Nott derided. "You aren't nearly as clever as you think you are, Malfoy."

"It's unwise to insult a man in his own home, but I've unexpected guests, so this shall have to wait," Malfoy growled. "She's in the dungeon. The other entrance is through here."

"Lead the way," Nott growled. "We both know what it is."

* * *

The Witch listened closely as her final lockbreaking spell let the last bolt free and the heavy vault door swung open towards her. Unfortunately, it wasn't a vault, but a long hallway, shrouded in darkness. With a slight growl of frustration, she started off into the darkness. Luckily for her, she'd enchanted her goggles for nightvision and soon the ambient light lit up the area. The hall sloped down and turned before a large vault, door not unlike those at Gringott's, which covered another area.

The Witch did her practice of unlocking each bolt individually to minimize sound and what not and before long, she turned the massive wheel and the door pushed inward.

She wasn't in a vault.

Instead, it was a room with a redhead tied to a chair. She could see the girl wasn't wearing anything and her sobs shook her rather impressive cleavage.

"Ha! I wondered if you'd be this stupid," snarled the all too familiar voice of Lucius Malfoy. "You know, Batman, I didn't think you'd be-" he cut himself off as he realized the black clad figure was decidedly NOT the Batman. "Who are you? Where's the Batman?"

**"Right here,"** growled a voice right being Malfoy's left ear. Spinning around he realized Nott was nowhere to be seen, having been replaced by the black cowled vigilante. Like all the others, he went for his wand and found himself in a personal meeting with the Batman's fist. **"Where's Susan Bones, Malfoy?"**

"Right there," Malfoy cackled, pointing over his shoulder at the girl in the chair.

**"Please, that's your house elf with a glamour,"** the Batman growled. Lucius grinned.

"Did you really think I'd lay a trap and not have it set?" Lucius asked as black clad wizards in white skull masks filled in from adjoining rooms. "I have the girl, what have you got?"

Gauntlets grasped robes as Malfoy was picked up off the ground.

**"You,"** replied the Batman.

"This sounds like a private discussion," the witch in the catsuit said, "I'll be leaving."

She started to move away until five wands focused on her. She held up her hands. "Or here, here is fine."

The Batman gave his hostage a shake before he turned to the newer arrivals. **"Do you think you're getting paid for this?"**

"This isn't about money, you imbecile," Malfoy taunted as he spat blood in his attacker's face. "This is about power, and those who should rightfully have it!"

**"Tell me, Malfoy,"** the Batman said conversationally as if he wasn't still hefting the dark wizard by his robes. **"It's three AM, do **_**you**_** know where your son is?"**

"What?"

**"It's a simple question,"** the Batman replied. **"Where's little Draco?"**

"He's at Hogwarts...isn't he?" Malfoy asked, suddenly uncertain.

**"Is he?"** asked the Batman with a slight smirk.

"You're bluffing."

**"Am I?"**

"You-" Malfoy cut himself off, growing more unsure of his position.

**"How'd you like to lose you little boy, Lucius?"** The Batman continued to hold him up as if the Batman wasn't expending any real effort. **"He's your pet project, the extension of your will and influence, your sequel, your masterpiece. And yet you send him every year to a place that you have no immediate control over. So do you know? Do you really know where he is?"**

Malfoy growled, throwing his head back to glare at the assembled Death Eaters. "Just kill them already!"

And then the Death Eaters fell unconscious. The woman in the catsuit had wisely cast a bubble-head charm, something the others didn't think to do.

"What? How?" Malfoy asked, confused.

**"If I was going to lay a trap, did you really think I wouldn't have it set?"** the Batman asked, throwing the dark wizard's previous words right back at him. **"WHERE IS THE GIRL?"**

"You'll never find her," Malfoy smirked, thinking himself safe. "I've been tortured by a master. You might be the Batman, but you've nothing on the Dark Lord."

**"The easy way, then," **Batman said before glaring into Malfoy's eyes for a long silent moment. **"So, she's in your other dungeon on the other side of the mansion."**

"How?"

**"I told your friend Walden," **the Batman said. **"I'm not your enemy. I'm your nightmare."**

Malfoy went for his wand, but caught a fist to the face instead. As Malfoy slumped to the ground, unconscious, the Batman turned to glare at the bashful witch in the catsuit.

"Sorry for interrupting your party-" and suddenly he was _there_.

He grabbed her by the shoulders, making her squirm at the sudden physical contact. He leaned in and Hermione could see the white eyes of the cowl seem to glow. **"Look, Miss Kitty, Henrietta Pussycat or **_**whatever**_** you call yourself, if you think this is a **_**game**_**, then you need to go back to the Neighborhood of Make Believe before you get someone killed."**

"I screwed up," she said. "I know." Then she smirked. "And I'm thinking of going as Catwoman."

She trailed a finger over his armored chest. "It's been nice, you saving me, and all, but I've gotta go, places to go, people to see, their things to steal."

She moved in to kiss him and her lips touched his, but he never moved except to catch her hand.

**"And don't touch the utility belt. It's a little dangerous,"** he whispered, pulling her fingers away from the pouch with the Fiendfyre napalm grenades. She winked, wiggled her fingers goodbye, and slipped into the shadows.

Batman didn't wait. He charged across the inner courtyard, down the entrance to the former kitchens from before it was a magical mansion. Another robed Death Eater stood over Susan Bones with a look of satisfaction. Batman didn't even bother to say anything and simply decked him across the face, then stunned him three times with a silent wand. Then a medical stripping spell took his clothes off and put them on Susan. The action seemed to waken the girl and she rocked backwards with a jolt at the sudden presence.

**"Susan Bones?"** the Batman asked. The girl leaned back suspiciously.

"Yeah?"

**"It's time to leave,"** he growled as he picked her up, wrapped her in his cloak and they started for the door. Two identical men in domino masks met them at the front door.

"We got the Munchers, but Malfoy got away," they admitted in unison.

**"Anyone else in the mansion?"**

The twin on the right opened a piece of parchment and shook their heads. "No, no dots other than the four of us."

"Put me down," Susan ordered. "I can handle myself. Who are you two anyway?"

"I'll carry you," said one.

"No, I will, you couldn't handle a curvy redhead in your arms."

"I've had more experience with this kind of things."

"Little sis doesn't count."

"Oi! Low blow!"

The Batman ignored the two fools, reached into his utility belt and tossed one of the dark metal balls behind him. The playful banter ceased immediately.

"Was that...?" Twin one asked, a wide-eyed look of shock on his face. Batman just looked at them.

"You mean you just...?" asked the second.

**"Yes,"** Batman replied. **"Move."**

Susan didn't think the Twins apparated, but they were gone an instant later.

* * *

From her vantage point in a nearby tree, Catwoman, Hermione Granger watched as the Manor went up in flames. Checking her cleavage, she was happy she'd remembered to grab the library before it burned. She'd have to spend a few days organizing her new pretties. Maybe there's something in there to help her on her way.

* * *

Narcissa Malfoy was concerned that her floo address no longer connected. Needless to say, she went to the next closest friendly house and apparated home. In hindsight, she shouldn't have apparated into the house. A maelstrom of fire, smoke and napalm, Malfoy Manor was completely ablaze. With a scream of pain and horror, she apparated back out, but not all of her made it. Her left side of her face was scarred by the flames while her left leg was missing entirely, the Fiendfyre consuming all in its path.

She was found, later, by muggles and rushed to the hospital. It was only her good fortune that the muggle repelling wards fell as the house was consumed. Otherwise, she would have bled out there. The irony that muggles had saved a Malfoy's wife was not lost on the Wizarding world.

Surgery was quick and the process more painless than she expected. Cuts, tweaks, patches and grafts, and she was still alive and recovering quickly, all things considered.

Later, as she sat in the hospital bed, listening to the beeps, the machines that go _Ping!_ and so on, she realized that it was all because of her poor decisions. She had made the decisions. Perhaps next time she'd give Fate a chance.

* * *

**Omake Ten: Lucy and Traps**

"Did you really think I'd lay a trap and not set it?" Lucius Malfoy cackled.

Catwoman looked at the giant piece of cheese placed on a giant mouse trap. Then she turned back to the madman.

"You're an idiot."

* * *

**Omake Three: Hermione and the Bat**

"What do you think of my new flat, Crookshanks?" Hermione asked as she showed the half-Kneasle her new digs. Crookshanks purred approvingly. Everything was top notch and very expensive. Her parents thought she was still going to Hogwarts and getting her NEWTs. When Hermione finally let them visit, she'd simply tell them she got a promotion and that gold is gold when in the muggle world. She picked the cat up and raised him above her head, spinning around as she danced with glee among the shelves of her "liberated" library. She pulled her familiar into her arms and pounced on her bed, only to jump back up in pain.

Flipping off the covers, she found a black Egyptian cat idol and a book. Crookshanks jumped out of her arms and sniffed the cat while Hermione grabbed the book.

"Ward Detecting and Breaking for Dummies by Bill Weasley," she read aloud. She flipped through until the tome opened to a book mark.

_So you don't nearly get me killed next time._

_ -Batman_

"Ooo!" Hermione growled as she crumpled the note in her fist.

Crookshanks rubbed up against the black cat and purred.

* * *

**Omake Thirteen: The Boys Wonder**

"I'm Robin-"

"I thought I was Robin?"

"No, you're Nightwing."

"But we're both wearing the same costume!"

"I'll be Rob-Wing and you can be Night-Bin."

"Wait, what were our names again?"

"Okay, I'll be Tim, and you can be Dick."

"I'm a Dick?"

"Yup."

Ron looked left and right as he ate another sandwich. "What about me?"

The Twins share a look as they pondered the possibilities.

"Jason."

"Definitely a Jason."

"Why?" Ron asked around another mouthful of sandwich.

"Well, Ronniekins-"

"-You're the kind of character-"

"-Preteen kids will pay- "

"-To have die."

Ron seemed to ponder that and then nodded.

"Yup," he said. The twins looked on in surprise as they expected him to protest heavily.

"Really?"

"Definitely gonna have another sandwich."


	8. Chapter 8

**"She's at St. Mungo's," **the Batman said from behind Amelia, causing the woman to jump. He kept himself from shaking his head at her reaction. **"She's fine."**

"Who was it?" she asked.

**"What happened to plausible deniability?"**

"She's my niece and that's all that matters," Amelia Bones snarled. "Who was it?"

**"Lucius Malfoy and some of his friends,"** the Batman replied. **"You should watch out, Lucius escaped. It sounded like an emergency portkey."**

"His friends?"

**"Diagon Alley hasn't had stocks in a long time, but they're going to be full in a day or two,"** he replied.

"I should be arresting you for this."

"Arrest who, Amelia?" Moody asked as he opened the door. Amelia gawked as she realized it was only her and Moody. The Batman was nowhere to be seen. She waved him off.

"What is it?"

He handed her photo with a broom's eye view of the Malfoy Manor. It was centered in a giant burning bat symbol.

"Precise burning pattern," Amelia commented.

"Fiendfyre and some substance I've never seen before, but it clings to anything," Moody grumbled. "We could contain it, but we couldn't put it out. Still burning now."

"Oh really?"

"The freak's a menace," Moody growled. "That's ten investigations he's broken!"

"Alistair, we both know they'd never have even gone to trial," she replied tiredly.

"What was it?" Moody snapped, catching her reaction. She looked at her desk for a moment before looking back at him.

"Lucius Malfoy kidnapped Susan because he wanted me to stop putting pressure on the Minister to drop the Bounty," she said as she slumped in her chair. "Sent me a letter informing me that I should 'know my place' and that he already had Susan."

"So let's go!"

"She's already back, I'm leaving to see her at the hospital right now," she said as she grabbed her coat. She glanced up and gave her old friend a tired smile. "Oh, and if Fudge interferes with our newly opened investigation into Lucius Malfoy, lock him up for obstruction of justice and corruption and anything else we can pin on him."

"Arrest the Minister? That's not going to go over well with some factions," Moody mused.

"I have it on good authority that several members of the more reactionary factions might miss a few Wizengamot votes," Amelia said with a bemused smile.

"A little bird told you?" Moody growled suspiciously.

"Well, it flies at least," she said as she stepped out of sight.

* * *

**Hogwarts**

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Theodore Nott was bellowing at the top of his lungs, but still no one seemed to hear. The sun had been up for two hours and still, no one was up to hear him. That might have been because he was hanging from the Astronomy tower, and not the Ravenclaw or Gryffindor towers.

"SOMEBODY-AHHHHH" he screamed as the rope suddenly went loose and snapped taut as his falling mass made up for the slack. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, he was pulled up. "."

Then he realized that the hands that pulled him up wore two very familiar gauntlets.

"Oh Merlin! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

**"Oh, Teddy, you didn't think I'd just leave you hanging, did you?" ** the Batman asked as he dragged his prisoner into the shadows.

* * *

Deloris Umbridge was a proud woman. Not that she had anything to be proud of. She was stupid; she was sycophantic; she was a torturer; she hated children; she was a human toad impersonator of the highest caliber; and she was a bigot of such a rank that few could match her. But she was still a proud woman.

Each day she would wake up, speak to the portraits of her kitty-babies, dress in her sickly pink outfit and attend to the breakfast meal where she lorded her power over all the others. Then she would "teach" her class, where she didn't actually teach any spells. There wasn't any reason for students to be afraid; after all, the Ministry would protect those that really needed it.

She was, in her own mind, the queen of the castle. She stood in the east facing window and sighed at the bright morning sun. Then two hands reached out and clasped over her mouth and her wand hand before pulling her into the shadows.

* * *

Severus Snape was neither a night owl, nor a morning dove. His potions were finished when they were finished, and no amount of social calendars or societal clocks would change that fact. So on this early weekend morning, Severus Snape was found meandering vaguely back towards his dungeon to check on his snakes before taking a few hours of sleep. It was unlikely that he was going to be missed by anyone of any significance. He included the incompetent toady in that category as well.

He walked into the common room to find nearly all of them passed out unconscious in various states of dress. The presumed activity was not unexpected, but the unconsciousness was a little unusual. Unlike most people, he noticed when the presence was behind him.

"My turn, eh?" Snape asked sadly. He lifted his hand and dropped his wand.

**"I'd think you were going to fight back,"** the voice said.

"Unlike most of the dunderheads this house produces, I actually use my cunning and intelligence for something more than solely self-aggrandizement," Snape replied. He lowered his head. "I wasn't there when your parents were killed."

**"I know,"** Batman replied. He left the question of how Snape knew unasked, but the man seemed to understand.

"It wasn't that hard to figure out," Snape continued. "You started with Walden Macnair. Most people never knew he was a Death Eater. He never had a trial, nor was he ever outed. Only someone who was there that day, or another Death Eater, would have known. Merlin, most Death Eaters wouldn't have known that, considering the masks. Inner Circle, really."

The Batman didn't say anything.

"I was childhood friends with your mother," Snape said. "I'm not trying to argue my way out of this. I burned that bridge long ago, but, well, you may look like your father, but this is purely her." He turned and looked at the figure. "I think she'd be proud of your goals, if not your methods."

**"Sometimes the situation determines the means,"** Batman replied. Snape nodded tiredly.

"Yes," he said, "yes, I suppose it does." He glanced about the room. The Slytherin Head of House pointed to a few older and younger students. "Bullies, those three. Drove more than a few muggleborns to quit school and a half-blood to suicide. Parkinson over there helped to murder and hide the bodies of four would-be muggleborns. We both know how they found the ranks of the next year's students."

**"Umbridge."**

"Yes, Fudge's pet toad," Snape scoffed with his classic sneer. "When Dumbledore died, when I couldn't save him, that's when I knew that we'd won the battle when the Dark Lord was vanquished, but we'd lost the war."

**"You'd have to disappear for a few years," **the Batman said. Snape looked at him like he was mad. **"I never came to treat you like the others. You might be a horrible teacher, but you're not the monster you want people to think you are." **Snape was clearly not sure that he liked that description. **"Give me **_**some**_** credit. You overcompensate on your 'evil' more than Ernest Hemingway did with machismo. You've never tortured a student; you've never cursed them. You only said and did what was expected of the Head of Slytherin, and while you're not a good person, you can't be considered truly evil."**

_heh! _Snape snorted. "If you'd come in looking like your father at age eleven, that might have been a different story."

**"I'm giving you a chance to start over,"** the Batman stated flatly. Snape just glanced about the room and nodded once. The Batman put a Bat-a-rang in his hand and the Potion Master vanished into thin air.

**"Time to go put up a few holiday decorations in the Great Hall."**

* * *

Hours later when the students actually filed in, they were greeted by the sight of Deloris Umbridge crucified, via sticking charms, to the back wall over the staff table. In front of them were an array of gibbering masses of Death Eaters in all but Mark who bemoaned their fate. Teddy Nott featured prominently, with Pansy Parkinson guest starring. To the surprise of a few, they weren't just Slytherins. Three Ravenclaws, one Hufflepuff, two Gryffindors and seven Slytherins made up the full array of the students on display. On either end was a guilty professor. Like always, they were stripped naked and their crimes stapled to their chests. The three differences were the stocks, barrels of rotten vegetables and the fact that none of them were obliviated.

Umbridge wore only a banner with the following: "Merry X-Mass, throw a few for good cheer."

* * *

**Omake Two: Snape and Remus**

"These are your new quarters and your lab is just down the hall," Remus said to his old adversary.

"This is the loo," Snape sneered.

"Oh, my mistake." Remus said, leading him to a room farther down the hallway.

"This is the rubbish room," Snape growled.

"Hmm...and I was sure this was the one," Remus said before heading down to the next door.

"_Ugh_! What is that smell?" Snape demanded, holding his nose and struggling to keep his lunch down.

"Oh, right, this is the composting toilet treatment room," Remus said. "Oh, well, I'm sure we'll find it eventually."

* * *

**Omake Nine: Luna and the Snape**

"Luna and the Snape, Luna and the Snape," Oracle sang as she skipped down the hall. "One is a genius, the other's in pain."

Severus Snape held his head in his hands as if to ward off some of the pain. She just wouldn't stop.

"The Oracle's a girl, with the Bat she'll save the world," she continued. "She's Luna, she's Luna and the pain, pain, pain, pain, pain!"

Snape reminded himself to stock up on a few of those head ache relief potions. Was it too late to end up like Macnair? Maybe he could ask Amelia Bones if there was a free cell in Azkaban.


	9. Chapter 9

"BONES! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Fudge demanded as he marched into her outer office. He didn't find the department head like he expected. Instead was a crotchety old auror with one leg, one eye and a chip on his shoulder.

"We were wondering when you'd show," Moody said with a grin that only served to make him seem even more sinister.

"Moody, where is Bones?" Fudge demanded.

"She's in the Hospital, visiting her niece," the auror replied.

"Get her back here! How dare she sign an arrest warrant for Lucius Malfoy!"

"So, you're going to interfere with an ongoing investigation?" Moody asked in a faux conversational tone.

"Of course I am!" Fudge snarled, his portly girth shaking and jiggling like a sack of rancid pudding. Moody grinned.

"Thank you, Minister," he said before magically binding the man. "You're under arrest for obstruction of justice, corruption of a ministry official, bribery, conspiracy to commit kidnapping, conspiracy to commit blackmail, conspiracy to blackmail, conspiracy to-"

The list went on and on, and inwardly the Minister paled.

"And if you're worried, I might remind you that we've also arrested the Editor of the Prophet, the Head Auror, three Unspeakables, 43 various ministry officials who are all being held at an undisclosed location," Moody was delighted to inform the man. "There are a dozen or so still missing, but we're on the look out for them as well. You can expect your people in Hogwarts to fall soon enough."

"You'll never get away with this! I am _invincible_!" Fudge bellowed. Moody and a few of the aurors couldn't help it. They starting chuckling. The chucking turned into laughter and finally the laughter turned into full on guffaws.

"Oh, I needed that," Moody chuckled, wiping tears of joy from his eyes. "Fudge, you sound like a third rate dark lord on an ego trip."

* * *

Days after the purge began, the Batman took a step back to observe how things started to change and Harry Potter took over again. As as things began to spiral, Luna was his rock, or at least his crystal ball.

"How are things?" he asked.

"Looks like there's going to be a big change," Luna replied. "There's no sign of who the next Minister is going to be, but Amelia prosecuting them fully like that is really putting the pressure on them."

"So, what do you see happening?" Harry asked as he pulled the cowl back. He gave a shake of his head so his wild hair could once more roam free.

"Well, the power shift is happening so fast, that I'm not sure; we might be in for a full blown civil war," Luna suggested. "The old guard aren't going to be happy about this, the ones really in power aren't as blatant as Malfoy; and he is still out there; and others might just dislike your methods and so vote to move against you."

"This isn't about me," Harry said.

"It's all about Batman," Luna correct with a shake of her head. "It's all about him. That you happen to be the Batman is irrelevant."

"Hmmm...tell me about the players," Harry commanded as he slid the gauntlets off his wrists.

* * *

In Hogwarts, the Board of Governors were meeting to decide the fate of the school, and there were several members missing, so they just barely made quorum. Worse than that, most of the remaining members were of less than pure mindset. While there hadn't been anyone but a pureblood in six hundred years on the Board, they deluded themselves into believing they were helping out and had everyone's interests in mind - well those few who were more honest about their self-serving nature.

"What are we going to do?" the first asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"Don't you think this discussion should wait until we're all assembled?" asked Amos Diggory. "Augusta has yet to arrive and Lucius is nowhere to be found."

"Perhaps we'll wait for Augusta," Mattius Abbot agreed as he steepled his fingers together. He had no love for the blond Slytherin and any decisions they could make with out the man's "influence," the better.

Soon a Longbottom did arrive, but not the one they were expecting.

"Hi!" Neville said, sitting down in the chair usually assigned to his grandmother. His appearance was incongruous with his age: precisely combed and tinted hair, and children's style purple robes designed for someone his size.

"Hi there Neville, how are you today?" Mattius Abbot asked him.

"I'm great!"

"We were waiting for your Gran, do you know where she is?" Diggory asked.

"She's not feeling well, so she's lying down and she's not getting up, so I came instead!" Neville said with childish glee that seemed like an act when compared to his well built sixteen year old body.

"That's very nice of you, Neville," Abbot said kindly, as if he was talking to someone six, not sixteen. "Oh, look, there's a tiny Hogwarts Express! Would you like to play with it?"

Neville screamed with glee and ran over to make train noises with the animated toy, the older wizard had conjured up. Diggory passed the boy a set of old magical cards for when he got bored or the conjured toy vanished. Abbot turned back to the others. "I assume, we can get to work now?"

"Where is Lucius?" the elder Nott asked. "After what happened to my son, I demand he explain himself! I want to know why this happened! I want to know HOW this could happen!"

Cedric Diggory's father clenched his hand around his wand, and only through supreme effort prevented himself from cursing the former Death Eater to oblivion. It had been Malfoy's machinations that had gotten his son killed, and that was not something Amos was going to forget.

"Lucius isn't going to be here," Abbot replied tersely. "He is being sought out in the kidnapping of Susan Bones."

"What?" Nott demanded. The other members showed faces of fear, glee, interest or confusion.

"Malfoy kidnapped the Bones girl and sent a letter to Amelia stating that she should know her place," Abbot further explained. "Susan escaped, but the Malfoy Mansion somehow burned down as a result. He won't be joining us unless he manages to bribe more Ministry officials than he ever has before."

Faces were scandalized. It was one thing to _know_ that Malfoy used bribery, it was another thing to publicly accuse him of doing so. Abbot simply glared at the others. "Malfoy is done. And don't think Fudge is going to help this time, now that Bones is on the rampage. Malfoy crossed the line, and that means the old way of doing things won't work anymore."

"Now that he isn't here to bribe and blackmail you people, now that he's _finally_ going to get what that monster deserves, what he escaped ten years ago," Diggory said with obvious venom in his voice, "we can take care of that monster Fudge installed as Headmistress."

"You dare call Delores a monster!" Nott snarled. "She's served well and honorably!"

"She _tortured_ my _son_! I want her _kissed_ for what she did to those children!" Diggory snarled, rising to his feet.

There was a moment of silence as everyone waited to see if violence was about to break out, but the impossible seemed to happen and Nott backed down from the angry Hufflepuff and slowly lowered himself down to his seat.

"There is also the matter of Severus Snape's disappearance," Abbot said. "It's been three weeks since his disappearance, and the students need to learn their potions. We are down a defense professor - not even half way through the first term, this time - a new potions master, a new history professor, a new muggle studies professor and a new headmaster or headmistress. I have a list of candidates for each position. Why don't we calm down and do what is best for the children? That is, after all, what a Governor of Hogwarts is _supposed_ to be doing!"

No one said anything for a long while, but eventually tempers calmed and people relaxed somewhat.

* * *

There was a knock at her door. "Director Bones?" a young female voice called out.

"Come in," she commanded and a young auror stepped into her office. "Auror Tonks, what can I do for you?"

"It's the Longbottoms," Tonks said grimly. "Lucius Malfoy broke in and killed them. Killing curse. The wards alerted us and we responded as soon as we could, but it was too late. We've been looking for Neville, but he's nowhere to be found. We think he made it to the floo, but we're not sure."

"Poor Neville," Amelia said. She shook her head in sorrow. "He was a good friend of Susan's when they were children. What those monsters did to him..." she trailed off and winced in pain. Shaking her head, she looked back at her auror. "And you think he saw the whole thing?"

Tonks nodded sadly. "We'll find him," Tonks said. "We just thought you'd like to know."

"Thank you. What about Malfoy?"

"He-well, Uncle Lucy's as mad as a hatter as I could see," Tonks replied. "He's trying to control everyone, even when he's lost control. The more he tries to tighten his fingers, the more people slip through his grasp. He'd like nothing better than to _imperio_ us all and force us to tea, but that's not going to work right now. He's too mad to realize he's lost everything." Tonks paused and a lopsided grin grew on her face. "You could say he's gone Batty." Amelia glared, but Tonks shrugged and continued on. "He got away, but... well, I've never seen him like this before, and I've seen him very, very angry."

Sigh... "Very well, keep me informed," Amelia said. She held her head in her hands after the door closed.

* * *

**Omake Twelve: The Toad of Steel**

"Our world is dying," Kerm-Et said sadly. "You are my greatest legacy, my son. My only son."

"I'm sending you to a world where the people, while primitive, have great spirit. You will be their symbol, their guiding hope. With your example, they will rise above themselves and live up to their potential."

With tears in his eyes, the greatest scientist of Kroakton pressed the button and watched as the crystalline ship containing his son flew off into space even as his world collapsed around him.

Trev-or crash-landed as a tadpole into the pond and was contented to swim around under the care of two kindly magical bullfrogs. It was apparent that he was different from a young age. The Heat Ray Vision was a dead giveaway, as were the massive strength and speed. By the time he was full grown, he could leap tall humans in a single bound. He was faster than a speeding broom, more powerful than a-_urk!_

"Look Gran! I caught a toad!"

"That's great Neville, why don't you put him in that box with the glowing green rocks you found last week?"


	10. Chapter 10

The meeting was a cabal of sorts. Like minded individuals who were meeting to discuss the unwanted changes in the past few weeks. Changes prompted by the arrival of the Batman. These were business owners, money launderers, white collar criminals, organizers of other magical criminals, and shadowy wielders of power. They had been in league with each other for generations, but consistantly stayed in the shadows. The cabal had gathered rarely the last few years as things had been going their way, but this was something of an emergency.

Just as they were about to begin, the unexpected arrival of Narcissa Malfoy prompted a rather hurried side discussion.

"Oh, sweet Merlin, Narcissa!" one Tracy Parkinson gasped. Narcissa Malfoy's left half was scarred horribly, the result of her encounter with Fiendfyre at the late Malfoy Manor. She walked slightly stiffly with a strange creak in her stride and her hair on her left side, turned a strange mass of gray and black, countered with her natural blonde. Her right half seemed more beautiful than ever before. If she turned to the side, she looked as if she was fully one or the other.

Outwardly, the scarred woman didn't appear to be responding to their shock and horror at her appearance. She touched her face, as if to remind herself of her current state. While to others it seemed new, to her it was simply her face. It was fate who made her who she was. Her survival was nothing short of a miracle as far as her rescuers were concerned. Saved by muggles. How ironic.

"An accident that needs rectifying," the half-beautiful woman replied as she slid into a chair normally reserved for her husband. Her line of thought prompted the slight non sequitur, but the others only thought she spoke of her marring.

"Revenge is a dangerous path," cautioned the ancient Carrow, head of an ancient Dark family that had mostly stayed wisely away from Voldemort and his minions, and likewise Grindewald before him. Only two Carrows had actually taken up wands in the service of the creature and they had quickly been cast out. The old man was by no means goodly, but he was more cunning than any living.

"I do not speak of revenge," Narcissa said, as she set a hand on the table. Carrow's eyes flicked down to her palm where he watched her flip a galleon, only to see it land heads up.

"Very well," Carrow said, shifting his gaze over the assembled cabal. "Bones is becoming troublesome."

"Yes," Parkinson said. "My daughter's unfortunate... association with the Malfoy brat," he caught himself and glanced at Narcissa, who simply flipped the coin again, but otherwise seemed to have no reaction, "uh, the Malfoy _scion_, has put me under Bones' purview. While I can speak, I will have to play the most upstanding citizen for the next few months, or at least until Lucius is apprehended."

Narcissa flipped her coin again, once more coming up heads. The action was distracting, but the others present continued on with only a brief pause in the conversation.

"Good," Carrow said with a nod. "What of Nott?"

"He's in a meeting of the Board of Governors," another man replied. "He's more concerned with the Batman right now."

"The Batman?" Narcissa asked. Suddenly nervous heads turned to look at her.

"The Batman attacked Nott's son, just like he attacked your husband," Tracy Parkinson explained. Narcissa looked at the woman blankly. "Just like he...you know." Tracy flicked her eyes nervously at the woman's left side.

"The Batman didn't cause this," Narcissa said, her charred lips cracking into a horrific smile. "My own choices did."

"Your choices?"

"I realized my judgment is flawed," Narcissa answered, glancing over at the ancient Carrow. "My judgment cannot be trusted. If I had allowed Fate to direct me instead of my faulty judgment, I would never have married Malfoy. Or perhaps I would have. But regardless, my choices were flawed. When the floo was out, I apparated home, into the flames. That was my choice. It was the wrong choice. I challenged Fate and lost."

"Poor Narcissa, that was merely an unfortunate accident," Carrow said in what he hoped was a calming voice.

"No, it was another example of my flawed judgment," Narcissa replied with another flip of the coin.

"This isn't my concern," Burkes growled. "My business is suffering! I want the freedoms I enjoyed again!"

Narcissa flipped the coin.

Burkes snarled and tried to snatch it from the air, but he missed and it came up tails, the galleon scratched and scarred as much as Narcissa herself.

Grasping her wand with her left hand, Narcissa drew and cast without saying a word. Burkes fell onto the table with a thud, and slowly slid off the table and onto the floor. The others looked on, having just witnessed the woman cast the Killing Curse silently, something that should have been impossible. People moved towards the door and hands towards their wands, but Misters Crabbe and Goyle, the elders and youngers, walked in. The Goyles wore white dress robes with black pinstripes; the Crabbes wore black with white pinstripes.

"This is what is going to happen," Narcissa stated flatly. "You all work for me."

A younger son of a lesser family pulled out his wand, but was dead before he could even pull it free of its holster. Vincent Crabbe lowered his wand, but kept an eye on the others.

"You will do what I want, when I want it," Narcissa said.

"How dare you?" snarled the ancient Carrow. "You're no different than your husband."

Narcissa flipped her coin which came up tails. "I think I'll call myself Narcissa Black today."

The non sequitur caught the others unawares.

"What do you think you're doing?" hissed Tracy Parkinson, who gently touched her old school friend on her right, unmarred wrist. Narcissa smiled and turned to her old friend.

"It's all a matter of Fate," she replied. She glanced at the dead bodies. "Somebody clean those up."

* * *

"Who else is important?" Harry asked a while later. He and Luna had been talking for some time about the various political powers both at the front and behind the scenes. Luna typed a few keys and an image appeared on the wall. The woman was pretty, beautiful even, but radiated a somewhat broken feeling.

"Bellatrix LeStrange," Harry said with more than a little venom to his voice.

"Yep, born Black, elder sister to Malfoy's wife, Narcissa," Luna replied. "She was fine as a kid, but some time around her 4th year she was infested with _Nagrilus malevolentius_ and joined the Dark Side. Forever it will dominate her destiny."

"Luna, enough," Harry chided, not even looking in her direction.

"Oh, poo," she said before continuing. "Shortly after your parents' murders, most others went into hiding, or turned them in because they claimed they were under the Imperius curse. However, for some reason, the Lestranges and a few others started attacking known Order members in hopes of finding out what actually happened to Riddle."

"The Longbottoms," Harry said before nodding for her to continue.

"Right in one. Bellatrix and her companions assaulted the Longbottoms and held them under the cruciatus for far longer than normal and drove them insane," Luna clicked a key and an image of the still comatose Frank and Alice appeared. "Her husband and brother-in-law were captured. Bellatrix never was."

"And the Longbottoms?"

"They haven't really recovered beyond anything but the slightest motor skills; however, their son, Neville, was a little better off."

"How?"

"Well, experts on child reactions to trauma say that in some ways the child mind is more adaptable; not magical experts, because they've got wrakspurts and won't read psychology journals."

"Luna!"

"Right, but Neville here was under it as much as his parents, but he seemed to recover," Luna continued.

"Seemed?"

"Exactly. Instead, he never grew up mentally," Luna replied, flashing to a picture of the boy today. "Sixteen years old, but he still acts like a child, with the wants and needs. While he remembers everything, he still acts the same age he was when his parents were attacked. It's been ten years, but he still acts like a six-year-old boy for the most part but struggles with his greater strength and hormones that his body has, but his mind cannot process."

Harry crossed his arms and frowned.

"He's not allowed a wand and he doesn't know any magic that I know of, but they're pretty sure he's a squib, anyway. Otherwise, he's kept at home except for certain occasions," Luna replied. She flipped to another image, this time of an old woman with a stuffed vulture on her hat. "His grandmother, Augusta Longbottom, is the old battleaxe of the Wizengamot. She raised Neville as best she could, taking a break from politics for a time, and unwittingly allowing Lucius to gain the kind of power he's enjoyed up to now."

"What has she been doing lately?"

"Well, as of yesterday, she managed to get enough support to block Malfoy from his accounts," Luna said. "It was in the Prophet."

"Hmm...I'm interested in seeing what comes next."

* * *

"Fine," Nott growled as he glared at the rest of the Board of Governors. "I'll agree to Pomona Sprout for Headmistress, but not McGonagall."

"Why not?" a former Gryffindor demanded.

"I've known her since we attended school here together," Nott reminded the younger wizard. "She was a formidable woman, but she's broken now. Dumbledore's death broke her and serving under Umbridge just ground the pieces into powder."

"How dare you!"

"Please! We all know I had no love for the muggle loving fool," Nott snarled. "But Sprout still has a spine, even if she is just a Hufflepuff."

The two former Hufflepuffs rose to their feet, eyes narrowed and hands on their wands. For a moment it seemed like violence was going to break out again. It only stopped when Neville Longbottom tugged on Nott's robe sleeve.

"_What_?" the former Death Eater demanded in a harsh tone. Neville seemed to grin wider.

"Wanna hear a joke?" Neville asked with a wide smile on his face.

* * *

**END CHAPTER 10**

* * *

**Omake One: Luna and Theme Songs**

"Bat-Mobile, Bat-Mobile, goes faster than an Oldsmobile," she sang as she spun the wheel of the car, narrowly missing a few pedestrians about Piccadilly Circus. Oracle, AKA Luna Lovegood, hit the breaks and the gas at the same time and skidded into a turn that put it between two speeding freight trucks that swerved to make room. "It can turn on a dime, especially when we're stopping crime!" As they quickly approached a woman pushing a baby carriage across a walk, Luna stuck her head out the window. "_Look out! _ Here comes the Bat-Mobile!"

Eventually, after about four and a half minutes of heart stopping driving and 43 near misses of fatal accidents, they arrived at the hidden and _Fidelius_ charmed entrance to the Bat Cave. A few moments after they had screeched to a stop, Harry Potter let his pulse return to a more normal rate and turned towards his partner.

"You are never, _ever_, allowed to drive again!"

"What if I get my license?"

"_NEVER_!"

The blonde girl pouted and crossed her arms under her breasts, refusing to move from the driver's seat.

"And besides, that wasn't even the right theme song," he chided.

"Oh, poo!"


	11. Chapter 11

That night Amelia Bones sighed. For every thing that went right, something went horribly, terribly wrong. The Longbottoms, and then the Hogwarts Governors. And there was no sign of Neville, anywhere. Poor kid.

The governors, it was a massacre. There weren't any survivors and whoever it was knew their curses. Crucio, cutting, exploding curse and others. There wasn't one sign of the Killing Curse, though. The culprit's magical signature was unknown and the only clue they had was a playing card lodged in Nott's eyesocket where it had entered the brain.

Malfoy was still on the loose. He tried to Imperius one of her Aurors, but had gotten away again. Poor Alice had a hard time of it; she was a good auror and shouldn't have had to experience that. Narcissa was missing, presumed dead as they had found the remains of her leg and nothing else. Some woman in a cat costume had broken into the homes of fifteen old and powerful families and taken a large number of items, including several priceless family libraries. Fudge was bellowing from his cell. And lastly, the Wizengamot was at odds over her choices and what they considered an apparent military coup. With everything that had happened, she was at a loss as to her next move.

Amelia sighed and tossed some floo powder in the fire. "Ossuary!"

"Hey, Auntie," Susan said from the living room. Amelia smiled despite everything and shook her head. There was gray fabric everywhere.

"What are you _doing_?"

Susan glanced about the mess and giggled nervously at being found out.

"I'm glad I can recover at home, but I needed something to keep me busy," her niece replied. "I thought I'd try my hand at -_uh_- robe design." Susan leaned in conspiratorially as she gathered up the gray cloth into a rough armful. "I'm starting to think it's not my forte."

Amelia let out her breath and kissed her niece on the forehead, giving her a little hug.

"I'm going to be working late tonight," she said. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay and eating right."

"I'll be alright," Susan said, returning the hug. "I'm pretty safe here behind the wards and the Great Wall of Aurors you built."

"Good," Amelia said. "Get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."

"Bye, Auntie."

Amelia nodded and flooed back to her office.

She came up to the roof some times to think. The skyline of London seemed to calm her thoughts. Ironic how that was all still there, even with all the turmoil the wizarding world was in. Up here, it was like nothing at all was amiss. Maybe it was because she was looking at the muggle masses, who were blissfully ignorant of the troubles around them.

She needed help.

She flicked her wand and a bright light flew from the end. She pointed it at the sky, letting a now familiar shape light up the clouds overhead. She didn't have to wait long.

**"Interesting way to get my attention,"** said the gruff voice from behind her. Amelia spun around to see the Batman not five feet away from her. **"What made you think I'd come?"**

"I had to try," she replied. "You helped with Susan, so I thought you might be willing to help find another missing teen. Neville Longbottom."

**"I was under the impression you were already in trouble for dealing with me the first time,"** the Batman said as he stepped out of the shadows.

"They can't say anything that Moody hasn't already," Amelia said with a grim chuckle.

**"They might try to oust you by force," **The Batman replied. She just shrugged as if it admit it was possible, but unlikely.

"I'm forcing reforms through, and by the time I'm done, they won't be able to go back to the way things were," Amelia said. "I don't want to be Minister, but I'm fixing things. Independent courts for one. Judges and Jury are masked, so no one knows their identities. That should help with the corruption. Mandatory Veritaserum questioning for another."

**"It's a start,"** the Batman conceded before returning to business. **"What do you have so far?"**

"For evidence? This," she said, holding up a card in a silk evidence bag charmed to be clear.

**"A joker?"**

"It's all we've got." She passed it over to him. "We traced the last floo out of Longbottom Manor as heading to the Board of Governors meeting. We think he managed to get there and the killer followed."

**"It's a start,"** he said again, pocketing it in his utility belt. Amelia smiled ruefully.

"They're afraid of you, the old core of the Wizengamot," she told him.

**"Good. They should be." ** She glanced out at the skyline again and suddenly she was alone once more.

"Damn," said the Director of Magical Law Enforcement as she glanced about the empty rooftop. "I really need to know how he does that."

* * *

Cho Chang and her new beau were walking out on an unusually warm December night in Diagon Alley when a purple clad wizard stepped out of the shadows. He grinned wildly and his tinted hair gleamed green in the light as he spun a card around his finger.

"Wanna hear a joke?" he asked them. He leaned in for a stage whisper. "The punch-line's a _killer_!"

**THE END**

* * *

**Cast of Characters**

Harry Potter as Bruce Wayne, the Batman

Hermione Granger as Selina Kyle, the Catwoman

Crookshanks as Himself

Remus Lupin as Alfred Pennyworth the Awesome

Luna Lovegood as Oracle

Fred Weasley as Tim Grayson, AKA Rob-Wing, Age Eighteen

George Weasley as Dick Drake, AKA Night-Bin, Age Eighteen

Ronald Weasley as Himself

Amelia Bones as Commissioner James Gorden

Susan Bones as Barbara Gorden, the Batgirl (original)

Nymphadora "Just Tonks" Tonks as Detective Renee Montoya, The Question

Mad Eye Moody as Detective Harvey Bullock

Hedwig, Post Owl as Herself and Diana Prince, Wonderwoman

Trevor the Toad as Trev-or, the Toad of Steel, The Amphibian of Tomorrow and Supertoad!

Cornelius Fudge as Himself

Lucius Malfoy as Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter

Narcissa Malfoy as Two Face, AKA Harvey Dent

Severus Snape as Himself

Neville Longbottom as The Joker

* * *

**Omake Four: Amelia and "How does he do that?"**

"Damn," said the Director of Magical Law Enforcement as she glanced about the empty rooftop. "I really need to know how he does that."

Unregistered Batmanimagus clung to the back of her robes and squeaked in his little bat voice.

_"Cheep! Cheep!"_

* * *

**Omake Fourteen: Eating Habits**

_By SpaceMary_

"Batman! Batman!" called out the annoying voice of Rita Skeeter. Under his cowl, the Batman rolled his eyes.

He tried to ignore her, but she kept showing up at the worst moments. Five Death Eaters had escaped because she was so damn annoying.

"I just want an interview!"

** "What do bats eat?"**

"What?" she asked, clearly confused. "Um...some eat fruit."

** "Right, fruit bats," **he agreed. **"What do Vampire bats eat?"**

"Blood, wait, are you a vampire?"

**"No, but what do most other bats eat?"**

"Um..."

**"I'll give you a hint, they've got six legs and exoskeletons."**

"Bugs?"

Batman grinned.

* * *

_Later_

Amelia was staring out the window.

"What is it?" Moody demanded suspiciously.

"I've just seen the same bug chased past the window by a bat six times."

"It's night, not a surprise," Moody grumbled. But he eyed the display suspiciously.

* * *

_Even Later_

Amelia Bones flicked her wand and a bright light flew from the end. She pointed it at the sky, letting a now familiar shape light up the clouds overhead. She didn't have to wait long.

**"Interesting way to get my attention,"** said the gruff voice from behind her. She spun around to see the Batman let out the most horrendous belch she'd ever had the misfortune to witness. He patted himself on his chest and shrugged in apology.

**"Oops! Had a discussion with Rita Skeeter about chiropteran eating habits. Sorry, please continue."**


End file.
